What if we all just….

operated with each other with just a little bit of grace?  

Can you picture it?  It’s actually a bit tough, isn’t it?  

I believe part of the difficulty is the consequence of the fact that we don’t actually see and experience this on the day to day as much as we’d like….quite frankly as we should.

Well, by now you know I’m someone who just appreciates level-setting with definition.  So, what does grace actually mean?  Quite a bit if we really do a deep dive around it.  When it comes to operating with each other though, it’s actually pretty simple.  See, the definition I like is the following:

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In the whirlwind that is our day-to-day, we don’t always experience the love, kindness or goodwill that would most favorably define our interactions with one another. So far today, how many have approached you in love, kindness or goodwill?  On the flip side, also consider that in our hustle bustle daily experiences and focus on me, myself, and I (let’s be honest here), we don’t always maintain a disposition to benefit or serve another with intention, actually exercising grace.  It may happen because we’re just good people and we know how to be nice and not intentionally be malicious.  But, what if we set the intention of loving, showing kindness, compassion and mercy, seeking to benefit those who interact with us?

Here’s what I am finding to be more and more true, amongst other things, as life continues to progress: It’s downright friggin hard!  It just is!  Life is a constant series of opportunities to grow, develop and progress which is fabulous, but is definitely does not come without challenge.  It’s just not easy.  And to top it off, you know what makes it even harder….harder than it has to be?  Us!!!!!  Yes, sometimes unknowingly and again even though without malintent, we make life tougher for each other!

Moment of transparency: these past two weeks have been ridiculously tough for me.  

People say things (you would gasp if I shared just a few comments made to me)….

People do things (I’d have to help you pick your jaw up off the floor)….

People fail to say things (ya know, like a simple thank you)….

People fail to do things (yeah like things they said they would do)…

It all just makes the things that are hard even harder.  

But what if instead of just moving day in and day out, just moving with the flow of things, we chose to show up with love?  

What if we actually set a daily intention of just being kind?  

How can we actively demonstrate compassion, mercy and favor to each other?

What if we just maintained and sought, daily, to elevate a disposition of benefit and service to one another?

What if we just operated with a little more grace to with each other?  It takes the act of exercising, but what if?

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Now, can you see it?  Now, won’t you do it?  Often times, living fabulously fierce is more about empowering others while balancing the elevation and progression of self.  To living fabulously fierce….with grace!

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“Thank you, for saying what we white women in the room needed to hear…really, thank you.”

I spent that past weekend in Denver, Colorado with the group of Emerging Women that the fabulously fierce Chantal Pierrat pulled together for the fifth time…..and it was AMAZING!  I am so grateful to have been included again this year.  When someone trusts you with their platform, that is nothing short of a great compliment and a major responsibility, not to be taken lightly!  I had the honor of being on a panel, moderated by Chantal and serve as a coach for a few attendees during the coaching corner!  My heart is so full….can’t even begin to tell you!

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The panel, titled The Future of Business: Creating Cultures where Women (and Men!) Thrive, focused on a number of different priorities, primarily honing in on the role of corporations in the day-to-day lives of their employees.  As it relates to diversity and inclusion, we just got real about what underrepresented groups experience or don’t get to experience depending on an organization’s culture, as well as the additional taxes some of us, yes, especially minorities, have to manage and the extra work of carrying the mantel of diversity and inclusion, educating others, being and enhancing our own cultural dexterity as well as that of others.  One message I really tried to drive home is that we individually, “those who actually have power to change the culture must play our part, especially when we see minorities carrying the load of this on their own.”

See, here’s the thing, we’ve been moving into reemphasizing the women’s agenda which is absolutely, so unquestionably critical to the brighter future we are all so desperately in need of.  This is the catch though, we have to remember that within the group, within the broad demographic of women, we must acknowledge and remember that those of us who have been historically and continue to be underrepresented, your brown and black sisters especially, have yet to have our demographic prioritized.  Additionally, when we try to advocate for ourselves on our own without the broad demographic support….we’re not only bossy, we’re aggressive….we’re not only aggressive, we’re angry…we’re not only angry….and I could continue but ultimately we are then alienated, isolated, discounted further, isolated, and there continues the cycle of just even trying to be seen and heard let alone, get a seat at the table in order to lean in and hopefully be heard.

So what?  So, now it’s time to just agree that we are all light in this world and we need to stop focusing on how much our individual illumination may be diminished by this circumstance and that.  Focusing in on how we’re impacted individually and how we can individually come together, collectively, with our own individualistic agendas is actually more limiting than we realize or are willing to accept.  We must hone in on the truth that we actually must opt to put our lights together, creating a fire we can leverage to turn this world right-side up!!!  Then, no one has to wait for their turn, for their agenda, their priorities and concerns to be the priorities and concerns of the others because in the end, aren’t we all one?

To the woman who thanked me “for saying what we white women in the room needed to hear”, I so wish I got your name, but thank you (and I will always remember that gentle smile)!  Thank you for accepting my boldness even when you didn’t know that sometimes it’s really hard to push yourself beyond the invitation and just take a seat to raise your voice.  Thank you for not letting the discomfort of the truth position you to shrink back and just sit and reflect or just think about it.  Thank you for seeing me, for recognizing that you are me and I am you and we, we got this!

To all of us, this week, be bold enough to speak your truth.  Encourage someone else to speak their truth.  Push past your own discomfort. Welcome, embrace, let go of your flickering flame and contribute to the fire!  It’s rising time and there’s no luxury of any of us turning back now.  Let this be your march of the moment!

Standing Out

I know it’s pretty tough but it looks like it is actually getting harder and harder for young girls to feel like it is absolutely ok to be different, to be unique to not follow the crowd, to be themselves, embracing authenticity.  I recently did another workshop for a group of thirteen- to fifteen-year-old girls  and they were absolutely fabulous!  I mean, they were on point with everything and just downright fierce!  The group of 17 showed up so confidently and they also showed up as one collective, supportive unit.  They had a great day together, laughing, playing, joking, encouraging each other and really absorbing all that there was to discuss and take in.

At the end of the day, I asked “so after today, what will be the biggest challenge for you in keeping your promise to yourself and each other to just be you, no matter what?”  One brave soul raised her hand and said,

“well, I like me…I love me…and I know I’m good, you know like I’m pretty cool.  But I’m different….I’m just really different….we’re all different from each other, and most of the people at school.  What’s hard is just being different because people notice you….and it can make you feel a little uncomfortable.”  

Then the entire group said, in unison,

“really uncomfortable.”  

Ugh, I just looked at all their beautiful faces and thought to myself, different group, different times, same bottom line challenge.  Being different is hard!  And we still have so much work to do in facilitating appreciation of differences.  I mean, I can’t think of one person who hasn’t looked through their Facebook feed even just over the past week alone and not realized that we, the adults, grown folks, even lose our minds when different perspectives arise.  How can we expect our young, up and coming women to operate any differently?

Dr. Seuss said it so simply

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”  

Great question but man oh man can it be hard sometimes….often times.  So what do we do about this? Action plan for the week:

    • Accept that it can be hard.  It just is.  Fact.  So accept that it is.  The moved into reflection, thinking about all the hard things that you’ve done in life, despite the fact that they were difficult.  What’s the gain?!?!?  LOTS!!!
    • Accept that though being different may be hard for you, it may be even harder for others, those who just don’t embrace your differences….and that’s really just not your problem…so keep it moving.  Imagine the loss to the world, your circle and those with whom you interact if you didn’t allow yourself to stand out?, prioritizing others’ comfort around you over your own unique value?  What a loss…..
    • Decide how you will stand out.  For some of us it’s our hair, our shape, our skin color, our personality, a whole slew of things.  Decide what your “stand out” factor(s) is/are and decide what you think of it before anyone else does and walk in it!  

 

  • Strut in it.  Slay in it!!!!  Stand out!

 

 

Readiness to Receive!

God has been generous to me, more than I deserve.

I asked for strength, God gave me difficulties to make me strong.

I asked for wisdom, God gave me problems to solve.

I asked for prosperity, God gave me brains and muscles  to work.

I asked for courage, God gave me dangers to overcome.

I asked for love, God gave me people in difficulty to help.

I asked for blessings, God gave me opportunities.

I received nothing that I asked for, but I received all that I needed.

 

Pretty intense reframing there, huh?  I wish I knew who the author of this is because it’s pretty profound if you ask me.  What I take away from this is that sometimes, when we are comfortable asking for what we want and need, we assume that we also have a say in the final outcome of what results from our asks…the how of the fulfilling of these asks.  Unfortunately, yet fortunately, we actually don’t….not always.   

See, while there is a truth to the fact that she who asks, receives, there’s also the truth that to whom much is given much is to be expected.  That being said, if there’s such significant expectations placed on those who receive, the process of receiving can’t be as easy as we’d like.  Not 100% of the time, but a significant portion of the time, we’ve got to go through some stuff to get some stuff…and there lies character, patience, strength, wisdom, prosperity, courage, love, blessings.

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Consider….

If it’s  strength you desire, are you ready to embrace the difficulties that build said strength?

Want wisdom? Ready to take on some major problems to solve?

Who doesn’t want prosperity?  Are you ready to work your intellect and current level of strength for it?

All your talk about wanting to be brave and courageous…ready to overcome some serious dangers and fears?

Still pursuing love?  How willing are you to offer your love to those who need it most?

Want that overflow of blessings?  Are you ready to take on all the opportunities that come with it?

So today, as you think of all the things you’re desiring, hoping for,  all the pieces of life that you want to come together, be accepting and be grateful that the process of obtaining may not actually look the way you would expect it to and that’s actually ok….because it’s going to be so much better because of what’s going to come through for you in the journey of attainment!

Disappointment

One of the potential consequences of being one who is always looking at the brighter side of challenging situations, seeking out silver linings in dark clouds, setting intentions of looking for the good or positive and staying hopeful even where there is evidence enough to just move forward with experience-filtered lenses, eyes wide-open is the reality of disappointment.  It’s real.  

We go through life with expectations of how things will work out, how we will progress and move throughout our journey, and, what potentially is most taxing, the hope that those who we believe should treat us as valuably as we do ourselves, and them, will reciprocate.  I mean it’s only fair that if we treat others as we seek to be treated that they would offer us the same respect, honor, love and basic human kindness.  Reasonable.  Beyond reasonable actually.  And then there come those moments, multiple moments, where others fail us.  When they fail to meet our expectations or more basically, meet us at least at our own level of giving, being, existing with and for them.  Yeah, not everyone operates at the same level of this mindset that we do.  And because of course our worldview, values and perspectives must be right, the door is swung wide open for the grand entrance of disappointment.

We all go through this.  At one point or another, someone we’ve cared about, loved, been there for, you name it, is present and able to do the same for us but is actually unwilling….and flat out tells you or shows you so.  Disappointment is actually defined as the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations.  It is totally ok to have expectations of others.  This is actually how we hold each other accountable and to a level of esteem that elevates humanity…at least to a degree.  But if we’re honest about disappointment, it really has almost very little to do with others’ failure to meet our own hopes and expectations.  Debatable yes, but what I think is less debatable is the truth that often, we refuse to let go of our expectations of others, consciously or unconsciously.  Then, when we get to that final straw, we’re almost broken because we can’t even fathom the reality that when someone has the opportunity to simply show up the way we have for them, they wouldn’t.  From there, we start to , if we’re brave enough, reflect back to other instances in which their behavior demonstrated the exact same thing you’re experiencing with them now.  Quite frankly, as they’ve maintained more consistency in their failures to show up for you than not, they’ve don’t nothing “wrong”.  But you still hold out hope.  

We point to different things that would talk us into moving forward from distrusting and/or limiting our expectations of others, believing, surely he’ll do this for me…..of course she’ll support me in this….why wouldn’t they let me____?  I let them do the same when they needed. And then their consistency shows up again…and the punch to the gut.  

I shared the following recently:

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What I would submit is that instances of disappointment are seasons for us to make a decision to stop giving folks opportunities they have absolutely no interest in.  Accept it….productively.  Don’t begrudge them…just move on, wisely. Refuse to

  • offer your expectations as opportunities
  • position yourself for frustration, unreasonable surprise…and disappointment
  • keep investing in him…her…them…expecting a return that will never come

I’m not for the “this for that” mode of living with others but there is something to be said for moving away from generosity that requires unsuitable sacrifices around your logic and willingness to accept truth.  It kind of boils down to the saying that “when someone shows you who they are, believe them.”  I’d add to that, “when someone shows you who they are, believe them, and stop setting the stage for their encores….draw the curtains and get some tickets to another show.  You’ll save a lot more in the end!”

Pssst…..

Sooooo, I’ve got a little secret to share…..

Ready….

I still struggle….

I struggle….

Sometimes…

Ok, almost always, I struggle with asking for help.  I know-shocker!  Here’s the thing, I’m not one of those “I can do anything and everything on my own so I don’t need anyone’s help” kinda gal.  What I am though, is the kinda gal who just figures so much out on her own, on the day-to-day (life is such a puzzle sometimes) that I fail to recognize opportunities for help.  I literally don’t even see them.  Until…someone sees me…and says, “can I please help you?” and I realize oh yeah, that would make this so much easier!

Picture this, my mornings are pretty much hustle and bustle getting myself together, out the door and then into the office…..Then as soon as I’m there, it’s jump right in mode.  I always stop and get my breakfast though…two boiled eggs (just the whites), oatmeal with flaxseed and shaved almonds (missing the days when I could add all the honey and brown sugar that I wanted…but ya know, #FitLife), and of course my cup of coffee.  Usually, I’m one of at least a few grabbing stuff and heading to the elevator.  For some reason though, this day, I was only one of about three and I was ahead of the other few folks, so I’m leading the way in holding the door open, pressing the elevator button to let us on, and then….once we got on, I was going to hit my floor and whatever other floors folks asked be pressed.  Now remember all that stuff I’m usually carrying?  Yeah, hands full.  Farah’s solution: just put the coffee cup in your mouth and hold it by your teeth for the quick few seconds you need to press the elevator buttons.  And then, before I get to put the cup in it’s holding spot, this gentleman chimes up, “can i please help you?”  Silence…you know, from me being stunned that I hadn’t even thought of it…he says “Please?  What floor?”  Chuckle and I ask him to hit five.  He just says, “I mean, it totally looked like you had but…I mean…” and we both just laughed.

I then immediately thought of my friend Alesha.  A while back she was in on my fitness journey, helping me in the lifting space.  I remember she had me set up for some bicep curls with what I thought were ridiculously heavy weights.  She stepped up to help me with the last few reps and I said, “no, you can’t because you’re not always going to be at the gym with me….I need to try to do this.”  She sasses me….with that annoying friend eyeroll too…you know which one…you have friends who do that too…post-sass, she says, “yeah, but I’m here now.”  Duh!  Cray, I know but this is what I still struggle with…and I know I’m not alone in this!

See so many of us spend more time preparing for having to do things on our own, either because we actually really want to or because we blindly just don’t even perceive that there can be help for us…and a myriad of other reasons in between.  Here’s the thing about help though, it’s not just for you.  It’s also for the helper!

See, we all have different things to offer each other,  Helping others, helping each other, is just one way through which we offer up our gifts and make space for better, for enhancements, for ease where possible, for peace, for love, for all the good stuff.  When we try to just do things on our own, we not only limit ourselves, we limit the impact of others and quite frankly, also limit their strength in being able to ask for help from us as well.

So what?  So glad you asked.  Well, as you can see this is a persisting challenge for me.  The reason: I actually don’t practice giving others space in which to help me.  Someone usually shows up (blessing, favor, mercy, grace…always on my side) but there’s still space for me actually asking for, welcoming and embracing help.  In addressing anything in our lives that needs some adjustment, it just takes practice.  So, this week, join me in leveraging help!

  1. Identify two things that you need some help with.  Just two so you can stay laser focused.
  2. Get really granular about what help you actually need.  Specificity is what positions you for the win here.
  3. Identify who can help you!  It may actually be more than one person.
  4. Reach out!  Let them know you need them.  Yup, get vulnerable. It’s takes bravery but it’s not a matter of life and death so….just do it!
  5. Watch the abundance that comes for you and your partners!

And then…..CELEBRATE!!!!!!

1.1.2017-Wherever you are….Whatever you’re doing…..

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Wherever you are-physically, mentally, spiritually, etc….whatever you’re doing….it’s a given, you’re in the season of a new beginning…..and that. Is. phenomenal!!!

 

Just breathe that in, mull it over, think about it.  The season of new beginning…beginnings.

 

Truth:  I actually get a bit annoyed with what I think of as new year’s hype.  I know, I know..a little debbie downer but, please don’t get me wrong…..I just feel that every morning, each and every morning we have the blessing of taking in another breath, opening our eyes, and starting another day, that is what we should really be all hyped up about.  Waiting for the one big day of the year to celebrate the opportunities that come with starting fresh and starting anew….I just wonder if we’re missing out by not having the same focus the other 364 days of the year.  Whew!  Got that off my chest….

 

Now this: the truth still remains..this day, is part of a season in which we all collectively, for the most part, come together to celebrate new beginnings, starting over, embracing a fresh slate, charting the course of the year with new goals, aspirations, challenges, hopes, dreams, you name it.  And why not?!?  So, while we’re getting to all the doing- writing things down, sharing new year’s resolutions, signing up for new programs, memberships and the like-let’s also be encouraged that wherever we are with all of these goals and aspirations, whatever we’re currently doing to achieve them, however we’re approaching them all, we’re actually right where we’re supposed to be.


There’ll be plenty of time for vision exercises and vision boarding and celebration checkpoints for milestones reached, but now is the time to commemorate the starting line.  It’s often overlooked until we get to the “finish line”.  Then at that point we just think “wow, I came pretty far”, missing the celebrations around the start.  Don’t miss it!  We are all more than enough even right now….we only move, not for perfection, but because we know the best is yet to come!!!  Because we know our latter can be better than our former if we just believe and put in the work!!!  With that!!!  Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing…Happy New Year!  Cheers to the season of new beginnings!  Celebrating the starting line with you!

Living Fabulously Fierce Factor #67-Employing Your Extinguisher(s)

“We misuse our mental faculties by barely using them at all. We have the means to extinguish our fears, but we lack discipline in using it, like having the extinguisher in our hands as our home burns but choose not to use it because we’d have to aim.”-Brendon Burchard

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m so grateful for the people in my life who will just tell me what I need to hear, whenever I need to hear it.  Nope, I’m not talking about telling me what I think I need to hear, but indeed what I truly need to hear.  There is a difference between the two and this quote by Mr. Brendon Burchard sounds exactly like something we all need to hear sometimes.  

It’s tough love, reminding us that for almost everything we seek in our lives in the way of change and/or progress, we actually have to get up and do  something.  There’s no sitting back and watching and waiting to see what happens.  That’s exactly how your house….and everything else with it… will burn to complete and utter nothingness.

Ok, so what am I getting at here?  Essentially, it’s no secret that we are all always dealing with fear in some form or fashion.  I’m not talking just shaking in your boots fear that can make us feel weak and powerless when facing something significantly major.  It may be something like the fear of public speaking, actually applying for a dream job, walking up to that guy and daring to ask him out, buying a home, moving across country…the list could go on and on.  Whatever it may be, it’s all relative too, right?  Where speaking in front of a room of 3,000 people would make most of my friends crumble to pieces…it excites me BEYOND MEASURE!!!!  And where mentally I cannot fathom the actual process of another human being coming out of my body, almost all of my friends who are parents chuckle a little when I share this as one of my major fears and essentially say, “that’s nothing to be afraid of….your body will do what it needs to do.”  Ummm, yeah but I’d still be deathly scurred.  #allrelative.  

In any event, when it comes to having to address fear, most of us would more readily embrace the fetal position than the warrior pose. More often than not, our tendencies may be to embrace ease and comfort instantly letting go of the opportunity to seize a challenge and embrace our capabilities as conquerors.  Did she just say opportunity to seize a challenge?  Yup.  I really do believe that, challenges are actually opportunities just to see how friggin fierce we actually can be…and just a little reminder, the she who said it is also the one who never in a million years thought she would leave a home and go a distance of 3000+ miles to face a personal challenge and seize a life changing, future redefining opportunity.  Seriously, do you know what I’ve learned about myself in just a little over two months?!?!?!  No, but that’s not important.  What’s important is what you have to learn about you by employing your extinguisher(s)-your means of putting out your fears, doubts, and mental blocks.

Yes, so you want me to elaborate on these extinguishers?  Cool. Simply put, these are things, mindsets and mindshifts, the people or squad that motivates you, your faith, the personal affirmations and confessions, your playlist that gets you amped to face whatever challenge you’re facing, your mom!  The list can go on and on but now you get what I’m getting at here.

Action plan for the week:

  • Identify one thing that scares you…anything, big, small, you name it.  
  • Describe how you feel when it shows up and comes over you.
  • Describe what it would feel like to stand up to that fear.  

Now, get your warrior on and decide two things do you need to do to just start to stand up to it…what extinguishers are you going to use?  Prayer, talking about it to a friend? Having your sister, your brother hold you accountable to address it?  Whatever it is, get up. Stand firm. Look the fire in the face. AIM!

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Soundtrack of the week: Janelle Monae’s, Tightrope…whether you’re high or low, brave or battling fear, even tip toeing is a start in the right direction!

Living Fabulously Fierce Factor #66-Being Unapologetically You

Ego-trippin’, Nikki Giovanni

I was born in the congo 
I walked to the fertile crescent and built the sphinx                                                                            
I designed a pyramid so tough that a star that only glows every one hundred years falls into the center giving divine perfect light                                                                                                                                                                          
 I am bad
I sat on the throne drinking nectar with allah                                                                                                                            
I got hot and sent an ice age to europe to cool my thirst                                                                                                    
My oldest daughter is Nefertiti                                                                                                                                                
The tears from my birth pains created the nile                                                                                                                          
I am a beautiful woman             
I gazed on the forest and burned out the sahara desert                                                                                                  
With a packet of goat’s meat and a change of clothes I crossed it in two hours                                                              
I am a gazelle so swift so swift you can’t catch me
For a birthday present when he was three                                                                                                                                  
I gave my son hannibal an elephant                                                                                                                                          
He gave me rome for mother’s day                                                                                                                                            
My strength flows ever on
My son noah built new/ark and                                                                                                                                                        
I stood proudly at the helm as we sailed on a soft summer day                                                                                            
I turned myself into myself and was jesus                                                                                                                            
Men intone my loving name                                                                                                                                                          
All praises All praises                                                                                                                                                                           
I am the one who would save                                                                                                                                                          
I sowed diamonds in my back yard                                                                                                                                            
My bowels deliver uranium                                                                                                                                                        
The filings from my fingernails are semi-previous jewels semi-precious jewels                                                      
On a trip north                                                                                                                                                                                      
I caught a cold and blew                                                                                                                                                                 
My nose giving oil to the arab world                                                                                                                                             
I am so hip even my errors are correct
I sailed west to reach east and had to round off the earth as I went                                                                              
The hair from my head thinned and gold was laid across three continents                                                                    
I am so perfect so divine so ethereal so surreal I cannot be comprehended except by my permission
I mean … I … can fly                                                                                                                                                                       like a bird in the sky …

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Confidence.  Authenticity. Brilliance.  Inspiration.  All of this is what comes to me when I read this poem.  It, and it’s author-the incomparable Nikki Giovanni, were first introduced to me at eight years old during summer camp at Lena Park.  I had to memorize it for the show we would put on at the end of the summer. I recall getting it and just soaking it all in…it took nothing to memorize it because every word hit me with a stroke of inspiration that I can’t even describe.  I actually remember standing up a little straighter…  I was “taller”  after reading it for the first time in the library of the building we were in.

Today, much older than eight years old,  as I read these words and also reflect on actually meeting Ms. Giovanni just a few weeks ago, it reminds me of the importance, the critical need in this world for each and every one of us to show up as our most authentic selves and to be unapologetic about all that that we are.  In this world full of social media that presents us with standards and expectations that we should emulate and try to meet, it appears that more and more we’re called to be the same, leaving distinctions behind.  With that, it sometimes calls us to “apologize” in many different forms for who we are, how we show up, not meeting others’ expectations of us.  

Earlier today, I read a Huffington Post on the challenges of being Afro-Latino which presented this challenge of being unique yet not meeting expectations and then having to, on some level, “cover” just to ensure access, further challenging the opportunities to show up as unapologetically authentic.  We all face this challenge in some form or fashion.  That being said, what are we supposed to do?  It’s actually quite simple-just. be. you.  Yes, I’m saying it’s simple because quite frankly who else can you or should you be?  The answer is very, very simple.  Just be unapologetically you.  

See, it’s actually not this-being authentic, being you, unapologetically- that’s hard.  What’s hard is not giving into the noise, the environment, the world, that tries to put you in a box and not welcome or accept the  beauty of our flaws.  Therefore, the challenge is really with us to decide to just be ourselves regardless-imperfections and all.  Yes, we have to stop pretending we’re flawless! Stop pretending we have it all together.

Let’s start accepting the beauty in our imperfections, internally and externally.  Accept the things about us that continue to keep us from being the same as others.  Accept the challenges that come with just being who we are as well as the blessings!!!  And just be you.

No there’s no multi-step process this week.  Just a challenge to accept who you are, how incredibly fabulous you are, how unbelievable fierce you can be.  Now here’s the active part…be, unapologetic about it.  Next time you walk into a room, do so as your whole self, not feeling or showing regret or shame; not apologetic for who you are, how you show up, and the fabulously fierce energy you bring!  

Soundtrack of the Week: Who You Are, recognizing someone who is definitely unapologetically herself, Jessie J

Living Fabulously Fierce Factor #65-Thinking of and Embracing the “Impossible”

“Sometimes, I think of as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”  -Alice, Alice in Wonderland

Impossibilities vs Possibilities.  I think of these as two sides of a coin:

Though they have their own distinct definitions, it is pretty clear that the distinction is pretty simple: What can be and what can’t right?  The impact may be significantly grand, but the distinction, that’s pretty simple.  

So when we think of what we should focus on in our day to day, in our commitments to being and living fabulously fierce, wouldn’t it make sense to focus on what is possible instead of what is impossible.  I mean, if I have the option of focusing on what is possible, eg spending part of my Sunday afternoon writing my next post, instead of what is not possible, eg picking up and joining the Alvin Ailey Dance Company to be a part of this year’s tour, what am I going to do?  You see the fruits of the option I selected.  So why, why in the world would Alice focus on six impossible things every morning?  Why on God’s green earth would I focus today’s conversation on embracing the impossible?  Well, because truly the difference between what is impossible and what is possible is nothing more than our mindset.

Before you start to counter right off the bat, please indulge in a little walk down memory lane if you will.  Please?  Ok, what was the last thing you did that you thought, at one time, just was not possible.  Think really hard if you need to?  At some point, we all face certain things, experiences, that really challenge us because we’ve not yet faced them.  We’ve not yet envisioned experiencing them, let alone obtaining a sense of accomplishment in that experience. Then, opportunities to choose show up.  We get to choose if we will face what we think is impossible and entertain the potential of possibility in the impossible and there, there lies the most critical difference.  One perfect example is my friend Riem’s little girl right now, just starting to learn how to walk.  You should see this little munchkin.  Right now, walking is actually an impossibility for her.  She’s never done it before.  Every day though, every day, she’s getting closer and closer to trusting a little legs, her own ability, and embracing the fact that it may actually be possible.  Her impossibility will soon be an unquestionable possibility!

The fierce Eleanor Roosevelt once said “All things possible were once thought impossible.”  Something FBA’s Mrs. Joseph shared with me when I was wondering how in the world I was going to pass that AP History exam that has stuck with me to this day!  And this is why Alice not only thinks of six impossible things before breakfast, she actually embraces those impossibilities as targets of potential possibility through her own shifted mindset.

So what does that leave for us to do?  So glad you asked ( you are all always so great at that :).  Well, we start, this week, going after what in our minds seems to be impossible.

Every day this week, before you even get out of bed, 

  • Specify one thing you’ve put into the “impossible” bucket
  • Engage in some imagination play.  Just humor yourself (or me) and imagine what the “possible” of that identified “impossibility” would look like. (I’m already at the Wang Theatre with the Ailey Troupe in April….in my head).
  • Describe, out loud and/or in writing, what experiencing this “impossibility” as a “possibility” feels like.
  • Embrace it by actually articulating it to just one person.  Yup, just one.
  • Seek. It. Out.  What would the the beginnings of that impossibility being a possibility require?  Whatever it is, go for it and do that!
  • Live Fabulously Fierce!!!!!

Soundtrack of the week:  Borrowing “AllauneBAlvin Ailey’s Audition video to share my “what would it feel like” step!  And of course, my ABSOLUTELY FAVORITE from Ailey, Revelations! Enjoy!