Living Fabulously Fierce Factor #16: Accepting Happiness and Committing to Joy

Hello Hello Friends!!!

The past two weeks have been a bit of a whirlwind on the LFF front but all this means is that there is a lot in the works for the Fabulously Fierce Followers to experience beyond the blog.  For now, let’s carry on!

So, in the last post, I highlighted the distinction between happiness and joy.  Remember, happiness is the moment, joy is the overview of the ups and downs in life and appreciating it all because it brings about the fabulousness that is you.  Now it’s time to get into the actual process of accepting happiness and committing to joy.

Accepting Happiness.

I recently had the chance to watch the Pursuit of Happiness again…

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it just happened to be on and it reinforced my moment and overview perspective.  In the end, Will Smith’s character shares:

“Now this part of my life, this little part is what I call happiness.”

Though the scene was of him and his son walking, in his voice you could hear a kind of “resting” tone on his reflection.  I believe that is the start to the process of accepting happiness.  So, my recommendations…

1-Rest in the moment.  Literally sit back and take in the moment that is bringing you happiness.  So many of us get to a moment that brings us happiness and we almost instantly focus in on trying to answer the question “ok, so what next?” or “ok, how do I make this last?”  In their recent conversation, even Oprah and Beyonce admitted to this challenge of not taking in their moments.

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Oprah, with her experience, actually seemed to even be begging Bey to “please, please, please take it in.”

2-Let go of your own mental models that keep you from actually enjoying it.  As I coach more and more women, unfortunately, I find that we are the biggest factor in limiting our own happiness because for some reason, we don’t think we’re actually deserving of it, that we haven’t earned it or that if we’re happy and enjoying something, someone else must be at a deficit of happiness and that’s our fault.  Cut it out!!!  Seriously, there is enough happiness in the world for those who will choose to embrace it.  REPEAT: THERE IS ENOUGH HAPPINESS IN THE WORLD FOR THOSE WHO WILL CHOOSE TO EMBRACE IT.  You taking in your happiness creates no deficit for anyone else.  Allowing yourself to be guilty in your happiness, however, over time, that creates a bitterness that no one wants to experience or be around….remember your brand, the experience you foster for others to have in engaging with you.  I’ll take into my circle a happy person any day over guilt-fostered bitterness.

3-Share it.  This requires nothing more than saying something as simple as, “You know, this is great!”  or “This is really, really, nice!” or “I’m just so happy right now” or “Now this part of my life, this little part is what I call happiness.”  You can almost start a happiness movement in just the simple act of sharing your own.  This is one the strengths I observed in the last person who had my heart (fancy way of saying the ex).  He was sooo good at sharing his happiness.  Whether we were just sitting by the Charles and talking or arm wrestling because I was determined to beat him at least once, he never failed to take a quick few seconds to say “you know, this is really nice.”   When we do this, it just increases the happiness factor in this world exponentially!

Committing to joy:

This, this is the long-term view folks, and it’s especially helpful when we get to those challenging or down times in our lives.  I once read that

“Joy is like the sun, always shining even when night falls or clouds cover it.”

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I love that!  Think about all those trials, difficulties, perceived limitations and the like.  Just look at them as clouds and give them their chance to pass, always remembering that they will pass and your sun is always going to be there either way. So,

1-Take on the “seasons perspective.“ This means that let your life be your life and your seasons be seasons.  Basically, no matter what, you are fearfully and wonderfully made, you are created to do some pretty remarkable things on this earth in your lifetime, and yup, you’re fabulously fierce.  That’s your life!  That is the reality that is your life!  Now life, it will have some seasons of rain, unbearable cold, frustrations, even hurts.  But, the remarkable thing…it changes nothing of who you are!  Live your life, let seasons play their part, and keep it moving!

2-Name your challenges.  The more specific you are about your challenges, the better positioned you are to stand in the midst of them and focus in on your life, not allowing your seasons to define it.  Example: One of my current challenges is that I don’t have as much time as I’d like to commit to my entrepreneurial endeavors and as a result, things just are moving as quickly as I’d like them to.  This does not change the reality that there are some pretty incredible things that are going to come out of LFF Enterprise.  It just means that I have to have more patience to keep focused on progress.  I’m still focused on the end game though and this helps me maintain required patience.

3-Schedule a recurring joy summit for 1.  All this is is setting aside a time of significant reflection.  I suggest monthly where you just take the time look at your vision board again with the end game clearly.  My joy summit usually takes place mid-month and always involves Pinkberry, soaking, and a review of what I’ve outlined for Farah Inc.  It helps me keep my focus and look at whatever I may be going through as just part of my story.  My friend Aundrea and I were catching up this weekend…

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and we talked about an issue we’re actually both facing and ended kind of laughing at what a great story we’re both building for an incredible book we’ll each write one day.

That’s about it.  No matter how much I try to keep these shorter than usual but I love to share.  So, I hope these points continue to help you on your fabulously fierce journey.

Soundtrack of the week: Stevie Wonder’s Uptight….because, Stevie helps make things better!

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