Sooooo, I’ve got a little secret to share…..
I still struggle….
Ok, almost always, I struggle with asking for help. I know-shocker! Here’s the thing, I’m not one of those “I can do anything and everything on my own so I don’t need anyone’s help” kinda gal. What I am though, is the kinda gal who just figures so much out on her own, on the day-to-day (life is such a puzzle sometimes) that I fail to recognize opportunities for help. I literally don’t even see them. Until…someone sees me…and says, “can I please help you?” and I realize oh yeah, that would make this so much easier!
Picture this, my mornings are pretty much hustle and bustle getting myself together, out the door and then into the office…..Then as soon as I’m there, it’s jump right in mode. I always stop and get my breakfast though…two boiled eggs (just the whites), oatmeal with flaxseed and shaved almonds (missing the days when I could add all the honey and brown sugar that I wanted…but ya know, #FitLife), and of course my cup of coffee. Usually, I’m one of at least a few grabbing stuff and heading to the elevator. For some reason though, this day, I was only one of about three and I was ahead of the other few folks, so I’m leading the way in holding the door open, pressing the elevator button to let us on, and then….once we got on, I was going to hit my floor and whatever other floors folks asked be pressed. Now remember all that stuff I’m usually carrying? Yeah, hands full. Farah’s solution: just put the coffee cup in your mouth and hold it by your teeth for the quick few seconds you need to press the elevator buttons. And then, before I get to put the cup in it’s holding spot, this gentleman chimes up, “can i please help you?” Silence…you know, from me being stunned that I hadn’t even thought of it…he says “Please? What floor?” Chuckle and I ask him to hit five. He just says, “I mean, it totally looked like you had but…I mean…” and we both just laughed.
I then immediately thought of my friend Alesha. A while back she was in on my fitness journey, helping me in the lifting space. I remember she had me set up for some bicep curls with what I thought were ridiculously heavy weights. She stepped up to help me with the last few reps and I said, “no, you can’t because you’re not always going to be at the gym with me….I need to try to do this.” She sasses me….with that annoying friend eyeroll too…you know which one…you have friends who do that too…post-sass, she says, “yeah, but I’m here now.” Duh! Cray, I know but this is what I still struggle with…and I know I’m not alone in this!
See so many of us spend more time preparing for having to do things on our own, either because we actually really want to or because we blindly just don’t even perceive that there can be help for us…and a myriad of other reasons in between. Here’s the thing about help though, it’s not just for you. It’s also for the helper!
See, we all have different things to offer each other, Helping others, helping each other, is just one way through which we offer up our gifts and make space for better, for enhancements, for ease where possible, for peace, for love, for all the good stuff. When we try to just do things on our own, we not only limit ourselves, we limit the impact of others and quite frankly, also limit their strength in being able to ask for help from us as well.
So what? So glad you asked. Well, as you can see this is a persisting challenge for me. The reason: I actually don’t practice giving others space in which to help me. Someone usually shows up (blessing, favor, mercy, grace…always on my side) but there’s still space for me actually asking for, welcoming and embracing help. In addressing anything in our lives that needs some adjustment, it just takes practice. So, this week, join me in leveraging help!
- Identify two things that you need some help with. Just two so you can stay laser focused.
- Get really granular about what help you actually need. Specificity is what positions you for the win here.
- Identify who can help you! It may actually be more than one person.
- Reach out! Let them know you need them. Yup, get vulnerable. It’s takes bravery but it’s not a matter of life and death so….just do it!
- Watch the abundance that comes for you and your partners!