Living Fabulously Fierce Factor #59-Living Purposefully WITH COURAGE!!!!

I decided a long time ago not to give speeches, but to give testimonies.” ~Viola Davis

VIOLA 1

A few years ago, I had the incredible opportunity to hear Ms. Davis speak at a conference hosted by Bryant University.  It was just a few months, maybe weeks even, before I was to take the stage in a local play for the very first time!  So the timing was so fabulous for me and then walking out, I was just in awe to be walking right behind her…..riiiiiiiiight behind her.  Ok, so what’s my point?  Well, Ms. Davis left everyone in the room with so much wisdom, inspiration and, without actually verbalizing it, a call to action to live purposefully.  I mean, she was standing right there, right in front of us as a perfect example of the results of living on purpose…..intentionally…..with courage….in the face of fear, doubt, question, limited confidence etc….a true living testimony.  AND ALL THIS, YEARS BEFORE LAST WEEK’S EMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

images

It is clear that she has been living purposefully for years long before we even knew her name. See, she made a decision long before she even understood what that actually meant (I really encourage you to look up her story and learn more…wish I could share all the notes I took from her speech….testimony).  So what does this all mean for us?  Well, as we continue to develop in our commitment and ability to live fabulously fierce, we have to identify, own and live our purpose without wavering, and with relentless perseverance.  How?

Well, I am not convinced that there is any secret sauce or anything like that to this practice that we call living.  What I do believe is that there are certain truths, realities if you will, that add value to the experience of living and make it feasible to make all of it our very own.  Hence…yup, I’ll say it again, the importance of self-discovery, self-definition and self-distinction to the entire branding process…the process of living authentically….living fabulously free.  Quite frankly, it is the focus of self- distinction that is most directly tied to the call of living purposefully.  Remember, self-distinction is all about the footprint you’re intending to leave behind, the impression you want made that lives on in others long after you’re gone (not just from the earth but even from just a room you’re walking out of….what do you leave behind?

The connection to living purposefully is simply the very definition of what it means to live on purpose: living with determination, resolution, full of meaning, with significance! So again, how do we do this?  Well, just a few recommendations here for you:

  • State exactly what your purpose is. To begin living purposefully is to know what purpose you are seeking to fulfill, to meet, so that your legacy is a reflection of just that. Using myself as an example-my clients always hear, ‘I will never ask you to do something I haven’t done or won’t do,’-I know that part of my purpose on this earth is to reflect the truth that one candle loses no light by lighting another.  This manifests itself in how I seek as much as possible to elevate other women and serve as an example to young girls….hence Living Fabulously Fierce as the method through which I intentionally live my purpose.  Are things exactly where I want them to be in this endeavor?  Nope (if you only knew how much is in my heart for all things LFF related!!!!!) but anyone who knows me and know what I’m about knows in some for another what my purpose is…because I do.  So, what is it that you believe you’re here to impact? To leave a positive impression on, as a legacy that will impact others for endlessly?
  • Take one step toward living on/toward your purpose. Decide today what one action would lead you just one step closer to either beginning or continuing to live purposefully.  Write it down…with a date next to it that notes when that step will be taken (dare I challenge you to note it as within the week?!?). Take that step!  Once this is done, it’ll be much easier to take steps 2, 3, 4, etc.  Then you’ll find it’s not even about the steps any more…it’s just about the living.  It becomes your natural mode of living.  And don’t think of this as something that needs to be so huge.  Think about it, how did you learn to walk?  I know we don’t remember this early part of life but we can all be certain it wasn’t by taking huge leaps, jumps or anything of the sort.  No, crawling to walking, walking to running, and look at us now J  For me, when I first looked at all of this many years ago, it was just a matter of deciding on my own personal mantra if you will.  The question was “how can I describe the way that I live that serves as a reflection of who I want to be and the impact I wish to have?”  Lo and behold…..fabulously fierce….living. fabulously. fierce.  What’s in a name?  Well, apparently a whole lot to drive a lot more action!  What’s the one step for you?  When will you take it?
  • Develop your strategy for addressing fear by acknowledging it and moving past it. Earlier this month, we make September the month of Courage for Living Fabulously Fierce.  Those of you who’ve been tracking with us via the LFF Facebook page have inboxed messages around how you’re developing courage, how you’re facing fear and how you’re really pushing yourself.  Interestingly enough, our shares, likes, and retweets this month have been the highest they’ve ever been!  Yes, I think I’ve shared some pretty cool quotes, messages, even songs/videos about courage. But what I think has also driven this uptick is the reality of how so many of us live in fear.  I don’t even mean an all-encompassing fear, but fear in one area or another in our lives that keeps us from living life to it’s very fullest, especially as it relates  to us living more purposefully.

I’m recently obsessed with Brendan Burchard’s The Motivation Manifesto.  He has a full chapter on addressing fear                and I can’t help but share the details of just the first chapter with you here…then GO GET THE BOOK!

        Fear rips us from freedom.  It is the destroyer of greatness.  We know this, and we should tame our mind in order to             defeat fear.  Yet look at all the adults who act like powerless children and avoid the life they want because of fear.                 ..the self-oppressed say, “You don’t understand.  I can’t chase my reams because I might fail-I might not be good                   enough.”  These are the debilitating thoughts…..that should we wish to live a vibrant life, we must transcend and look             fear in the eye, recognizing it as a mental construct that we alone fuel with small thoughts that betray our magnitude…..         our distinction, our purposeful living, our ability to live fabulously fierce

We don’t always have the courage to live purposefully in the fear of doubts and the like.  That being said, we have to             devise some way, a strategy around what we will do when these fears start to creep up.  For some, it really is just                   taking a deep breath and carrying on.  For others, it’s a process of dancing with logic through a series of questions:  If I         really put myself out there, will people judge me or am I just thinking this up?  If they do, do I actually care?  Would I              rather play it safe with no progress, or push myself in the direction of fulfilling my purpose? What’s the worst that can            happen if I just take the first step?  So, what strategy will you use for addressing fear?

  • Daydream, envision, vision board. The value of visioning is beyond measure.  When addressing goals with my clients, we ALWAYS use some form of visioning.  Decide what the best way for your to actually “see” yourself living your life in line with your purpose and use it! I’d encourage you to use even allow yourself some time to daydream, yes in the midst of all the hustling and bustling we have to do!  Do it do it do it!
  • Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!!!!!!!! Need I say more 🙂

 To living purposefully, with courage!!!!  Thank you, Ms. Viola Davis for the example!!!!

Soundtrack of the week: A repeat….Beyonce’s I was Here!

Advertisements

Living Fabulously Fierce SPOTLIGHT:  The Fabulously Genuine…

Cori Tadrus!!!

 unnamed

Author

What does Living Fabulously Fierce Mean to You? Constantly challenging yourself to be better. I think a lot of us tend to get too comfortable with ourselves, too set in our ways, so we aren’t able to grow and experience the joy that growth can bring. One small, kind of silly thing I’ve done that made me feel a little fiercer is learning to drive a stick shift. I really wanted this particular car, but couldn’t afford it unless I bought it in a standard transmission. I had tried a few times before to drive one, but could never figure it out. Well, being as stubborn as I am, I bought the car anyway, and my dad had to drive it home for me. I practiced driving it up and down my driveway for weeks, through tears and the smell of a burning clutch, but eventually I mastered it. In the end, I had that car almost 100,000 miles, and absolutely loved driving it!

If you had to describe your brand in three words, what would those three words be?

  1. Sassy – My book, Flawed Happiness, reflects this as it has a lot of funny, fierce female characters.
  2. Soulful – I think that music has the power to speak to and empower you in so many ways; to bring a smile to your face, a pang to your heart, or a warm sensation to your soul. I try to emulate this soulful, connected feeling in my writing.
  3. Self-discovery – Flawed Happiness is about finding happiness from within. It’s a reflection of me.

How are you intentional about your personal brand? I strive to live consciously.

How do you live it? I put a lot of thought into the everyday things — like eating good foods, surrounding myself with positive people, being kind, and using words and actions that set a good example for the type of woman I want my daughter to be.

If there is anything you could do to either reinforce or enhance your brand, what would that be?  Work on not being so much of an introvert. I’m not naturally a social butterfly, so getting the words out about my brand has been a (good) challenge for me.

Greatest accomplishment? Being at a place in my life where I am genuinely happy – with myself, with my work, and with the family I have created.

Biggest Challenge that you’ve overcome? Definitely the ability to listen to my inner voice over the roar of the outside world. Not that I don’t value the input of others, but there was a point where I was making decisions, especially regarding my career, based solely on other people’s standards of success. But now that I’m confidant in where I want my brand to go, something I have yet to overcome is finding balance between the desire to achieve and living in the moment.

Interesting Fact/Interests/Hobby/Something you think the LFF World to Know.

I love to explore different cultures. I was an anthropology major in college, and went to Namibia, Africa as part of an exchange program.

How do you recommend other women stay true to themselves and live their authentic personal brand? There’s a Walt Whitman poem that I love that says to “dismiss whatever insults your own soul.” This is awesome advice. Whether it’s an old pair of tight jeans lingering in the closet, or a relationship that makes you feel less than whole, I think letting go of the things that weigh us down allows us to become the happiest, most authentic versions of ourselves.

What advice do you have for young girls, our up and coming fabulously fierce, around being their best selves or anything you’d like to share with them in particular? Don’t let anyone discourage you from being you. Your uniqueness will always be your best asset.

Living Fabulously Fierce SPOTLIGHT:The Fabulously ‘On Purpose’…

KAREN HINDS

FullSizeRender

 Leadership Mentor for Milennials

So we’re still preparing for our March Spotlight Campaign, accepting submissions and nominations but we just couldn’t wait to start sharing some of the wisdom and insight already coming in to Living Fabulously Fierce from you incredible women-10 women already confirmed for next month!  So we’re giving you just a bit of what all of March will have in store.  Enjoy our Spotlight on Karen Hinds this week!!!!!

What does Living Fabulously Fierce Mean to You? Living fabulously fierce means living with purpose…with purpose and having fun.

If you had to describe your brand in three words, what would those three words be? Why?   

  1. Risk taker-If I have an idea, I just go after it!
  2. Excellence-I make sure to do everything with excellence for myself, for my clients and family.
  3. Fun-well, you have to enjoy life!!!

How are you intentional about your personal brand? I set regular dates with “thinking time”.  This is time during which I simply sit down on a regular basis and evaluate myself on how I’m doing, what I’m doing, and being accountable to myself around asking  “am I living according to my personal and professional goals . Honestly, I am constantly evaluating  myself overall, and  specifically, my brand.

How do you live it?  I’ve started my business, started conferences internationally, written a book all in the face of inexperience.  In terms of fun, I am veeeeery fun.  At home, we’re constantly laughing and pranking each other.  In terms of excellence, I take my work very seriously.  I truly believe, how you do anything is how you do everything. This doesn’t mean I get it right all the time, but believe me, I try.

If there is anything you could do to either reinforce or enhance your brand, what would that be?   Focus on visibility.  I think everyone who experiences my brand really enjoys it, but I’ve got to extend the exposure of it.

What would you say has been your greatest accomplishment?  I can only pick one?  Ok…I would absolutely say my family.  See, once you have that, you can duplicate the beauty and benefit of it into anything else.  I’ve been married 20 years and my son is 16.  I am really proud of all of that.

Biggest Challenge that you’ve overcome?  So, I’m a risk taker and I’ll do whatever I believe needs to be done. That being said, the truth of the matter is there is always this little nagging voice that gets me, just like everyone else, that tries to get me to second guess myself and all that I’m doing.  So, this actually isn’t the biggest challenge that I’ve overcome but it is the biggest challenge that I’m constantly overcoming.  I intentionally try to limit the power of that voice and make sure I don’t set limitations for myself.  It’s an ‘in progress’ overcoming.

Interesting Fact/Interests/Hobby/Something you think the LFF World to Know.  I love food, so the most interesting food I’ve eaten were grasshoppers….It was a crunchy dish.

Tell me about Brand Karen Hinds as Living Fabulously ‘On Purpose’.  When you hit 44 you realize you just move and live for you and what you want.  I just live on purpose and don’t waste any time.

How do you recommend other women stay true to themselves and live their authentic personal brand?   Women first have to get to know themselves because we throw around the word brand and people really don’t know who they are.  It’s like setting someone in the kitchen, telling them to make something, and they don’t even know what ingredients they have in the kitchen to use.  So know yourself, define you, and then live authentically because you already know who and what you are.  Then you’re no longer trying to be something or someone that you think someone else wants you to be, but instead you’re choosing to live on purpose.

What advice do you have for young girls, our up and coming fabulously fierce, around being their best selves or anything you’d like to share with them in particular?  Open your mind, guard yourselves, your emotional selves, ask questions and always ask for help… always.

Living Fabulously Fierce Factor #54-Choosing and Being Confident

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!   2015 has definitely gotten off to an incredible start for LFF and I’m super excited about all that is in store for all of us moving forward.  It’s interesting.  It’s been a few weeks, and I hope you’ve missed our “catch-ups” here as much as I’ve missed writing.  Jumping right in, I’d really like to hone in on the factor of choosing and being confident.

As I said, 2015 has gotten off to an incredible start with a number of calls for me to represent Living Fabulously Fierce at different conferences, women’s groups, and high school programs.  I’m now booked  with different events through November…and we’re not even yet through January!!!!  #SuperExcited!!!!  That being said, what the requestors would really like me to drive home on given the needs of their audiences, especially with groups of high school girls, consistently, across the board, I continue to hear the desperation in others’ voice around the confidence factor for women and girls.  It’s as if they’re asking , “You know, if you could come with a few confidence pills that would solve everything an then you can continue with the LFF Branding Process you coach on.”  Now here’s the reality, is going to take more than a workshop, a coaching session, and or a loving conversation for those close to us to really get us to the level of confidence that we are all seeking in our professional and personal development.  That being said, it all boils down to steps and practice.  It truly ties back to the Bernier Brand Building Model of self-discovery, self-definition and self-distinction….the steps really, and putting into practice the self-awareness gained, and commitment to believing that you are worth the confidence you are welcomed to and should walk in.  So with that, how can you not love this quote from Miss Gabourey?!?!?!

Displaying photo.JPG

I’m not going to sit here and try to sell you on a roadmap, prescription, or step-by-step process to building and having self-confidence.  What I am compelled to do, though, is stress, and remind you how important it is to understand that confidence tarts with one simple step: Giving yourself the gift of confidence in being whatever it is you want to be.  Deciding to be beautiful, smart, witty, intelligent, remarkable, outstanding, remarkable, truly one-of-a-kind, sanctified, blessed beyond measure, unique, valuable, gifted, anointed, amazing, fabulous, fierce……you name it!  Decide what it is, whatever it is.  Accept that it and you are more than enough.  Honor yourself and that decision of what and who you are. Then, after you’ve decided, just be…..and be happy with who it is, what it is, that you’ve decided to be as confidently as you will allow yourself to be!

Soundtrack of the week: Angie Stone’s I’m so Happy Being  Me.

Living Fabulously Fierce Factor #40-Living Life to the Fullest II

There has been so much going on for me as of late, more than I’ve ever imagined, and I am totally overwhelmed with it all, in the most positive way possible! I have wanted to share so much and actually have too many drafts of LFF Factor #40 to count and it’s all because I’ve tried to capture my next “soundbite” as perfectly as possible. What I’ve learned in the drafting process is that sometimes, it just takes a bit of rambling to get out the message we intend, and it usually results in an even greater impact than we could have hoped. So, let’s just dive into living life to the fullest.

I think the first time I was cognizant of this message that we are all familiar with was in high school. For whatever reason, I just remember so many of the adults in my life at the time stressing the importance of seizing opportunities, living in each moment, appreciating the season…living life to the fullest. I can’t honestly say that I did anything different than what I would do, but I do remember being on highs all the time. The highs of

  • connecting with people
  • experiencing new things
  • always feeling out of my comfort zone but being motivated by that, and
  • daydreaming like mad about what was next!

So as I reflect back and simultaneously look at all that is in the here in now, many years after being that high school kid, I realize that that is really what living life to the fullest is all about…..

  1. Connecting with people: Anyone who knows me knows that I would literally talk to the wall if the wall would talk back. I’m a story seeker. I love learning about others’ experiences and hearing what their interests are. I often picture our lives as movie scenes interwoven through unexpected connections. I love it! It adds a lot of flavor to life and I wouldn’t change it for the world! So, consider how you connect with folks. No, I’m not saying you need to make friends with everyone who crosses your path, but I have found that just listening to any piece of someone else’s story that they’re willing to share and sharing what I’m comfortable sharing has always improved a moment, a day, a week….life.
  2. Experiencing new things: Man oh man has 2014 already shown me the benefit of this point. So far, I’ve spoken to three new audiences that I would never have imagined being able to, set the goal of just auditioning for a fabulous play and then actually got the role that I auditioned for, and then was in the play (still baffled and truly grateful), and just this past Friday, I did a 5k with my friend Alesha. Sometimes, I seriously sit back and think “Farah, seriously, you’re doing this?” And then, I’m totally stunned by what I’ve done that I never even thought of doing. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “everything that is now possible was once thought impossible.” This has been enough motivation for me since my AP History Class with Mrs. Joseph junior year at Fontbonne Academy when I first came across this quote to be open to experiencing new things. This year has just been a more continuous revelation of that. So, what new things are you going to let yourself at least consider today?
  3. Stepping out of your comfort zone and being motivated by this: On some level this is a bit sick. I was just recounting to one of my peers at work that the reason that I took the job that I’m in now was because it actually scared the mess out of me. I’ve never operated in the space in which I’m in now and never had as high a level of accountability in such a senior role both locally and nationally. I “knew” that I didn’t have expertise to bring to the role but I also knew that that would be enough for me to be as driven and motivated to excel in it. The yielded results are beyond what I could have ever imagined. As I’m now getting comfortable, I know it’s time to start finding ways to get uncomfortable to maintain that drive. What’s your comfort zone? How are you going to get out of it and be motivated in the process.
  4. Daydreaming like mad: I have learned and experienced the power of visioning. Last year I was really diligent about taking golf lessons and one of the things I remember the most was how the coach would tell me to “take a practice swing every time, not just to practice but to picture the ball going exactly where you want it to go.” Every time I did that, the ball always went exactly where I wanted it to go….exactly!!! At the same time, I’m also seeing being in the role I’m in now as the result of daydreaming about being as successful as Claire Huxtable when I was eight years old…..about being on a stage when I was ten years old, even though I had to quit dancing because we just didn’t have the money to continue lessons, I just kept daydreaming about the stage, envisioning myself on it again…..about getting fit and focusing on being healthy and starting to get involved in more fitness-related activities even when I was the most out of shape in high school and not as involved in sports as I had been previously. And lo and behold 2014. Just yesterday I was coaching a client, “Rachel”, and she has had a goal of getting back into shape and being healthy. We didn’t start with what she would do today to start to get back on track. We started with “imagine what “Rachel” May 2015 looks like. Tell me about it.” As she started to daydream out loud, we acknowledged how much she liked that picture and she committed to that. Then we stepped back to determine today’s next step toward that. She’s taking her practice swings and I have no doubt her “ball” is going to land exactly where it needs to and I’m so excited about it. I belabor this particular point because I have experienced the power of it. So, what are you giving yourself the opportunity to daydream about?

I’d love to hear what you’ve got to share so much so that I’m still on a high from all the complimentary sessions I did last week that I’m offering one 30-minute complimentary session to the first person*to comment on any one of the four points that they’re going to commit to. Let me hear you!

Soundtrack of the Week: This was such a popular song during my high school years that it seems most appropriate here. Enjoy Green Day’s Time of Your Life