Living Fabulously Fierce SPOTLIGHT:  The Fabulously Empowered…

Kai Y. Lopes-Stovell

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Senior Hair Stylist/Educator/Image Consultant

What does Living Fabulously Fierce Mean to You? To me, living fabulously fierce is all about learning to live each day to my fullest.  As stated in the LFF mission and description, it is the same for me-I live each day trying to inspire women and young girls around me.  Each day, I am determined to help women own their beauty.  While in my day to day this is usually in the form of their hair, for me it is much deeper than their hair and that is why, no matter the age, we talk about diet, spiritual health and of course that is connected to the best hair you can have. I want my clients and the young women in my life to walk away from me changed from the inside out.  It is my mission to elevate women and girls confidence permanently!

If you had to describe your brand in three words, what would those three words be?

This is such a hard question.  I would choose so many words to answer this, but

the top 3 are ministry, authentic and empowered. I have been given the power and abilities to encourage women and I can’t do that without including GOD, who has saved me.  Small discussions about having faith, and accepting the beauty that was GOD-given are just snippets of our talks.  My approach is what allows women to feel empowered to attack and conquer the next task, or negative mindset with courage and confidence.

I am authentic about who I am and where I’ve been and what I’m still working on.  This makes the women I speak to feel as if they can face their challenges and not be ashamed of what their past and present are made of.  The future is a few minutes from that moment and can be different.  I’m vulnerable so that they can see we all have a testimony and sharing it can facilitate change in others!

How are you intentional about your personal brand? Each day, I have to pray, meditate, love me intentionally and faithfully.  The intent is always there to do that, but the consistency is difficult and has to be done or I move further away from my goals. Loving me, allows me to love my clients and young women in my life more intently as well.  I also do small things like compliment women every day, smile and say hello to women passing just to set an example.  I intentionally try to look the part of a stylist, dressed well, just enough make-up, great accessories, and of course my hair is always done or that would be an incredibly mixed message.

How do you live it? 

I pray, workout, meditate and live intentional to my purpose.  I try to not let the small things change the course of my day.  I try not to let ANYone or ANYthing steal my joy and change my course for the day ahead.

If there is anything you could do to either reinforce or enhance your brand, what would that be?

Wow, absolutely!!!! That is like an essay question. Haha.  I would love to own my own salon which would be all about building my brand and reaching the masses of women I dream of reaching! That is coming!!!

Greatest accomplishment?

My greatest accomplishment is still yet to come!  I’m happy to share that I am pregnant and GOD-willing, my pregnancy is a healthy one and goes to full term, and a baby is born, he/she will be my greatest accomplishment thus far.  Next on that list is definitely opening my own salon and growing from there.

Biggest Challenge that you’ve overcome?

My biggest challenge thus far has been learning to truly love myself physically, no matter my size.  Loving me and all GOD has placed in me that HE didn’t put in anyone  else.  Believing how uniquely I was created and not comparing myself to anybody else!

Interesting Fact/Interests/Hobby/Something you think the LFF World to Know: My

favorite pastimes are singing, working out, cooking and spending time with my husband!  Singing is something that frees my soul and causes people to listen when I open my mouth.  It’s a blessing from GOD.  Working out is an absolute in life, to feel good and live the best life I can.  Cooking is also therapeutic, and I love challenging myself with new healthy recipes.  And last, but never least, I love spending time with the best friend GOD created for me! He is the best ending to my day!

How do you recommend other women stay true to themselves and live their authentic personal brand? Never stop learning who you are and embracing it.  Love yourself more each day and smile at challenges.  Pray, and be grateful for all you have and believe more is on the way. Don’t allow naysayers to deter you and be compassionate to those who are lost and trying to figure out so many things you already have!

What advice do you have for young girls, our up and coming fabulously fierce, around being their best selves or anything you’d like to share with them in particular?

When I speak to young women and girls, I see myself.  That automatically gives me a level of compassion that reaches the true depths of my heart.  I want them to know that the greatest power is loving yourself as you are! No one can take that from you, so you have to learn to take the best steps in choosing friends, food and fun!  Make those times help uplift them and change them positively.  If they have more moments like that then, the possibilities of living fabulous fierce are so  much greater!

One of my favorite love thyself quotes is “To love yourself as you are is a miracle, and to seek yourself is to have found yourself. For now. And now is all we have, and love is who we are.” -Anne Lamott

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Living Fabulously Fierce SPOTLIGHT:The Fabulously ‘On Purpose’…

KAREN HINDS

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 Leadership Mentor for Milennials

So we’re still preparing for our March Spotlight Campaign, accepting submissions and nominations but we just couldn’t wait to start sharing some of the wisdom and insight already coming in to Living Fabulously Fierce from you incredible women-10 women already confirmed for next month!  So we’re giving you just a bit of what all of March will have in store.  Enjoy our Spotlight on Karen Hinds this week!!!!!

What does Living Fabulously Fierce Mean to You? Living fabulously fierce means living with purpose…with purpose and having fun.

If you had to describe your brand in three words, what would those three words be? Why?   

  1. Risk taker-If I have an idea, I just go after it!
  2. Excellence-I make sure to do everything with excellence for myself, for my clients and family.
  3. Fun-well, you have to enjoy life!!!

How are you intentional about your personal brand? I set regular dates with “thinking time”.  This is time during which I simply sit down on a regular basis and evaluate myself on how I’m doing, what I’m doing, and being accountable to myself around asking  “am I living according to my personal and professional goals . Honestly, I am constantly evaluating  myself overall, and  specifically, my brand.

How do you live it?  I’ve started my business, started conferences internationally, written a book all in the face of inexperience.  In terms of fun, I am veeeeery fun.  At home, we’re constantly laughing and pranking each other.  In terms of excellence, I take my work very seriously.  I truly believe, how you do anything is how you do everything. This doesn’t mean I get it right all the time, but believe me, I try.

If there is anything you could do to either reinforce or enhance your brand, what would that be?   Focus on visibility.  I think everyone who experiences my brand really enjoys it, but I’ve got to extend the exposure of it.

What would you say has been your greatest accomplishment?  I can only pick one?  Ok…I would absolutely say my family.  See, once you have that, you can duplicate the beauty and benefit of it into anything else.  I’ve been married 20 years and my son is 16.  I am really proud of all of that.

Biggest Challenge that you’ve overcome?  So, I’m a risk taker and I’ll do whatever I believe needs to be done. That being said, the truth of the matter is there is always this little nagging voice that gets me, just like everyone else, that tries to get me to second guess myself and all that I’m doing.  So, this actually isn’t the biggest challenge that I’ve overcome but it is the biggest challenge that I’m constantly overcoming.  I intentionally try to limit the power of that voice and make sure I don’t set limitations for myself.  It’s an ‘in progress’ overcoming.

Interesting Fact/Interests/Hobby/Something you think the LFF World to Know.  I love food, so the most interesting food I’ve eaten were grasshoppers….It was a crunchy dish.

Tell me about Brand Karen Hinds as Living Fabulously ‘On Purpose’.  When you hit 44 you realize you just move and live for you and what you want.  I just live on purpose and don’t waste any time.

How do you recommend other women stay true to themselves and live their authentic personal brand?   Women first have to get to know themselves because we throw around the word brand and people really don’t know who they are.  It’s like setting someone in the kitchen, telling them to make something, and they don’t even know what ingredients they have in the kitchen to use.  So know yourself, define you, and then live authentically because you already know who and what you are.  Then you’re no longer trying to be something or someone that you think someone else wants you to be, but instead you’re choosing to live on purpose.

What advice do you have for young girls, our up and coming fabulously fierce, around being their best selves or anything you’d like to share with them in particular?  Open your mind, guard yourselves, your emotional selves, ask questions and always ask for help… always.

Living Fabulously Fierce Factor #49-Making Your Life Spectacular

 

When I learned of the passing of Robin Williams, I just paused and time kind of stood still with a “really?” kind of thought in my head. Following the news, as the hours, days, and weeks passed by, naturally, we all heard so much more of him than before. You know, the standard information that usually comes out about people after their leaving the earth-how wonderfully brilliant, kind-hearted, gentle, etc they were. Robin Williams wasn’t someone that I had as much of a connection to, if you will like many other celebrities. It has nothing to do with liking or not liking him or his work. He just wasn’t someone who resonated with me as much as others…I remember watching Mrs. Doubtfire at camp and again with my family, but honestly, that’s all. When I saw the following though, it really put into perspective for me the significance of this individual:

MAKE LIFE SPECTACULAR

See, this shows that he did live a life that was spectacular. Yes, they are lines from a script he memorized and performed. When you boil it down though, how art does indeed imitate life. My goal at the end of my days, when I get to the pearly gates is to hear God say to me, “Well done my good and faithful servant.” It appears from this that another goal would be to be able to say that “I lived a life that was spectacular.” It just sounds so enticing…and actually feasible. So how do we do that? Well, in his own brilliant way, and with a legacy that will life for all of eternity, Mr. Williams lays it all out for us:

  • Don’t worry so much. While I worry significantly less, SIGNIFICANTLY LESS, than I have in the past, I intentionally check myself about the different things that come to mind for me and occupy what I call “worry space”. There is no value in worrying at all and the truth of the matter is that life is way too short for us to spend any time worrying. The reason I worry so much less than I have in the past is because now I’m at a point in my life where I can look back on the points in which I worried and it yielded absolutely nothing because in the end, everything always works out for my good…even when the worrying was about not getting something or achieving something that I desired, it turned out to be good because it wasn’t meant for me and/or in reality, it wouldn’t actually be good for me and/or something better was in store. When we look back, we all realize that yes, life if fleeting and as such, worry should not have any opportunity to occupy any space or time in our existence. Don’t worry so much.
  • Cast your eyes to the summer sky. There’s a song that I love, a gospel song, Total Praise. I especially loved it when we sang it in Boston College’s Voices of Imani. It starts off, Lord, I lift up mine eyes to the hills from where cometh my help. It’s essentially Psalm 121. There is something about just looking up when worry, anxiety or concern abounds. See, it’s about not giving weight to the distractions to your right or your left, in front of you or behind, but about keeping your head held high, looking up, and connecting with your Source, expressing gratitude for what you have and where you are, and moving forward no matter what. Look up!
  •  Make a wish. One of my coworkers has a personal tagline that if you know her for even just three minutes you will learn- Wish out loud. Are you specific about your wishes? Have you specified the hopes and desires in your heart? Are you diligent in the prayers from the depths of your soul? If not, why is that? It can’t hurt to make a wish, articulate hopes and desires, boldly pray and believe. If you are, keep on wishing on!!!

Make. Your. Life. Spectacular. Every day, just focus on making life, whatever it entails for you in the immediate moments, whatever the days bring, however they unfold, commit to not worrying, staying focused on the things above and wishing and you’ll find that in the end, you too, like our departed friend, you will be able to say, “make life spectacular….I know I did.”
Soundtrack of the week: It’s unquestionable that the way Mr. Williams passed was, to say the least, just very sad. It only seems appropriate that this post is more about reflection and introspection than anything else and in my own farewell to him, Bring Him Home is the best fit. Enjoy

Living Fabulously Fierce Factor #16: Accepting Happiness and Committing to Joy

Hello Hello Friends!!!

The past two weeks have been a bit of a whirlwind on the LFF front but all this means is that there is a lot in the works for the Fabulously Fierce Followers to experience beyond the blog.  For now, let’s carry on!

So, in the last post, I highlighted the distinction between happiness and joy.  Remember, happiness is the moment, joy is the overview of the ups and downs in life and appreciating it all because it brings about the fabulousness that is you.  Now it’s time to get into the actual process of accepting happiness and committing to joy.

Accepting Happiness.

I recently had the chance to watch the Pursuit of Happiness again…

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it just happened to be on and it reinforced my moment and overview perspective.  In the end, Will Smith’s character shares:

“Now this part of my life, this little part is what I call happiness.”

Though the scene was of him and his son walking, in his voice you could hear a kind of “resting” tone on his reflection.  I believe that is the start to the process of accepting happiness.  So, my recommendations…

1-Rest in the moment.  Literally sit back and take in the moment that is bringing you happiness.  So many of us get to a moment that brings us happiness and we almost instantly focus in on trying to answer the question “ok, so what next?” or “ok, how do I make this last?”  In their recent conversation, even Oprah and Beyonce admitted to this challenge of not taking in their moments.

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Oprah, with her experience, actually seemed to even be begging Bey to “please, please, please take it in.”

2-Let go of your own mental models that keep you from actually enjoying it.  As I coach more and more women, unfortunately, I find that we are the biggest factor in limiting our own happiness because for some reason, we don’t think we’re actually deserving of it, that we haven’t earned it or that if we’re happy and enjoying something, someone else must be at a deficit of happiness and that’s our fault.  Cut it out!!!  Seriously, there is enough happiness in the world for those who will choose to embrace it.  REPEAT: THERE IS ENOUGH HAPPINESS IN THE WORLD FOR THOSE WHO WILL CHOOSE TO EMBRACE IT.  You taking in your happiness creates no deficit for anyone else.  Allowing yourself to be guilty in your happiness, however, over time, that creates a bitterness that no one wants to experience or be around….remember your brand, the experience you foster for others to have in engaging with you.  I’ll take into my circle a happy person any day over guilt-fostered bitterness.

3-Share it.  This requires nothing more than saying something as simple as, “You know, this is great!”  or “This is really, really, nice!” or “I’m just so happy right now” or “Now this part of my life, this little part is what I call happiness.”  You can almost start a happiness movement in just the simple act of sharing your own.  This is one the strengths I observed in the last person who had my heart (fancy way of saying the ex).  He was sooo good at sharing his happiness.  Whether we were just sitting by the Charles and talking or arm wrestling because I was determined to beat him at least once, he never failed to take a quick few seconds to say “you know, this is really nice.”   When we do this, it just increases the happiness factor in this world exponentially!

Committing to joy:

This, this is the long-term view folks, and it’s especially helpful when we get to those challenging or down times in our lives.  I once read that

“Joy is like the sun, always shining even when night falls or clouds cover it.”

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I love that!  Think about all those trials, difficulties, perceived limitations and the like.  Just look at them as clouds and give them their chance to pass, always remembering that they will pass and your sun is always going to be there either way. So,

1-Take on the “seasons perspective.“ This means that let your life be your life and your seasons be seasons.  Basically, no matter what, you are fearfully and wonderfully made, you are created to do some pretty remarkable things on this earth in your lifetime, and yup, you’re fabulously fierce.  That’s your life!  That is the reality that is your life!  Now life, it will have some seasons of rain, unbearable cold, frustrations, even hurts.  But, the remarkable thing…it changes nothing of who you are!  Live your life, let seasons play their part, and keep it moving!

2-Name your challenges.  The more specific you are about your challenges, the better positioned you are to stand in the midst of them and focus in on your life, not allowing your seasons to define it.  Example: One of my current challenges is that I don’t have as much time as I’d like to commit to my entrepreneurial endeavors and as a result, things just are moving as quickly as I’d like them to.  This does not change the reality that there are some pretty incredible things that are going to come out of LFF Enterprise.  It just means that I have to have more patience to keep focused on progress.  I’m still focused on the end game though and this helps me maintain required patience.

3-Schedule a recurring joy summit for 1.  All this is is setting aside a time of significant reflection.  I suggest monthly where you just take the time look at your vision board again with the end game clearly.  My joy summit usually takes place mid-month and always involves Pinkberry, soaking, and a review of what I’ve outlined for Farah Inc.  It helps me keep my focus and look at whatever I may be going through as just part of my story.  My friend Aundrea and I were catching up this weekend…

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and we talked about an issue we’re actually both facing and ended kind of laughing at what a great story we’re both building for an incredible book we’ll each write one day.

That’s about it.  No matter how much I try to keep these shorter than usual but I love to share.  So, I hope these points continue to help you on your fabulously fierce journey.

Soundtrack of the week: Stevie Wonder’s Uptight….because, Stevie helps make things better!