Living Fabulously Fierce Factor #63- Honoring Your Journey, Your Heart and Your Soul

Well, it’s been a couple weeks now since I made my move to the West Coast and I have to say, California is treating me pretty well!  Things are really superb and I  am truly enjoying every bit of it.  Absolutely true that there is no place like home so of course, I’m missing family and friends so thank God for the phone, FaceTime, texts, emails and even a few notes from friends–I seriously have the best people a girl could have in her life….which brings me to this week’s post (acting like I’ve been as diligent as I’d like with weekly post…hehehe, just let me have it :).

These past few months have been so revealing in terms of facing the test of really walking my talk, the people in my life, the desires of my heart, and the strength, well alignment of my soul with what I truly believe.  That’s a lot right?  So of course, I’m just going to break it all down here and try to be as succinct as I can….but you know me 🙂

Honoring Your Journey:                                                                                                                   In our day-to-day, it can be very easy to forget that we really only get one shot at this game called life.  That being said, though we may be dealt a particular hand that doesn’t always look like it can work in our favor, or the dice may not always roll the way we’d like, or we’ve got competitors, opponents, or even those on our teams who present challenges, our one job is to honor our journey, valuing each day as an ongoing contribution to the bigger plays we put forth.  No matter what, keep the game interesting, at least by being in it.  Sitting on the sidelines should never be an option.  You may not always have the ball, but you can always get in there and run, engage, contribute something.  Honor your journey……stay in it, make it worth it, unlock the plays that will yield a story you’re proud to share when the time comes.

Honor Your Heart:                                                                                                                             Of course for me reflection at this point as it relates to the heart has to do with a guy….another story for another day….but when it comes to honoring your heart, the best way I can articulate what I’d like to get across to you is that it is so important to treat it, to honor it, as the precious pearl that it is.  Give yourself the time to know what soothes it, what gives it warmth, what hurts and breaks it, what potentially causes it to writhe in that kind of pain you remember but soon forget once you open it up again.  Then, cherish it with a regard as diligent as that which you would have for newborn, yet as carefree and whimsical as that magical heat that lets hot air balloons soar to heights unimagined…accepting that at the end of the day, you don’t want to favor one strategy more than the other.  Instead, seek a balance that allows you to experience all that love and life have to offer, appreciating that it is the heart that has the strength to endure that act even when you don’t think you actually can.

Honoring Your Soul:                                                                                                                       The more I find myself in new and unusual places with new and unfamiliar faces, I experience more what I’ve always known to be true-We are first spirit beings before we are human beings.  What does this mean?  Well, essentially, long before we are formed in our natural state, we are souls, we are spirits.  Our soul is the resting place and launch pad of our values.  It’s the source through which we can measure alignment with our beliefs.  It’s where our desires take root and stem.  And yet, we don’t always do a good job at consistently investing in our souls.  A long time ago there was the Chicken Noodle Soup for the Soul series.  To me, what that was a reminder of was the need for us to take pauses in our day to get in tune with our souls…you know a gut check, if you will.   We’ve got to nurture that part of our being.  My source is my daily scripture reading and intention setting.  We need this, the time that is, no matter what you believe, investing the time in reflection is so critical.  We actually crave it without always knowing how to articulate it.  For instance, I’ve only been here just two weeks and really only connecting with folks for the past few days.  Interestingly enough, I’m the newest person to the circles I’m engaging in and the other folks have actually been here for at least a year and most much longer than that.  Yet, consistently conversations have come to “needing to find a church”.  And no, I’m not the one actually bringing it up.  We all seek nurturing for our souls in some form or another.  Take time to honor that.

Remember, while our days are actually many, they’re not promised and so our time here will always be shorter than we desire.  That  being said, it’s that much more imperative that we

  • live every day to the fullest, honoring our journey overall
  • gift ourselves time to recognize what different life situations enhance or detract from the heart and foster what is good for it thereby honoring it
  • invest in our spiritual growth and development, honoring our souls

Until next time, live fabulously fierce!!!!

Soundtrack of the week: A Double Header 🙂

 

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Living Fabulously Fierce Factor #58-Knowing Who and What You Want

A girl should be two things: Who and what she wants.” ~Coco Chanel

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Ms. Chanel was undoubtedly a fashion icon and her legacy lives on in that spirit.  What impresses me most about her though, much in the same way does Ms. Dianne von Furstenberg, is her level of self-awareness and commitment to authenticity.  In this statement, Ms. Chanel stresses the importance of self-awareness as a perquisite for accepting and expecting anything….or anyone, for that matter, in life.

It is undeniable that there is so much messaging to young girls in our world today and not all of it helpful or productive.  Truth of the matter is that there is much more that is focused on telling them who they should be more like and what changes they should employ to be less of themselves and more of what’s deemed “acceptable”.  I admit that because I really do have a passion in this area, I soak up everything related to my target audiences of women and girls…..so it’s not surprising that just this past week alone, I read over 20 articles related to what’s happening in the messaging to our up and coming fabulously fierce.  In short, here’s just a bit of the information I picked up this week so far, visually….

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And then in a midst of all of this, a reminder from Ms. Chanel that there is actually some simplicity in the path to just being you and being positioned to expect more of what you want in your life by starting with yourself…Know who you are……know what you want.

On knowing who you are…. 

This week I got to coach over 50 leaders through Energy Leadership. They were so appreciative of the insight gained from the assessment they took but what they stressed was how much more self-aware they were as a result.  Now here’s the thing, leaders are leaders because they already have a level of self-awareness that has positioned them to yield the success they have obtained so far.  The beauty, however, is that the learning never ends.  To truly live authentically and remain true to ourselves, we really have to commit to first engaging in the process of self-discovery (I know, I know, I always talk about this) AND living in a way that keeps you open to learning more and more about yourself over time.  Some may push back here and say “But I am very self-aware and I know who I am.”  And trust me, I believe that a good number of us actually do….just ask the people in my own personal circle.  The catch here however is that if we truly believe that we are always full of potential and always developing, which continues to increase our potential, then doesn’t it just make sense to engage in self-discovery on a regular basis?  Of course it does!!!  (love how I answer my own question and then am even so bold as to tell myself I’m correct :).

So what’s the point here? TAKE EVERY SINGLE OPPORTUNITY TO LEARN MORE ABOUT WHO YOU ARE!  I always suggest StrengthsFinders as a great resource for folks.  It’s simple, not really expensive, and the return on the investment is huuuuuuuuge!  Huuuuuuge!!!!  Everyone who starts the LFF Branding Curriculum with me starts here! Do it, do it, do it!

It truly surprises me when folks don’t at least take up opportunities in the space of self-discovery.  Jus last week, I offered a free coaching session to the first person who responded both on my personal Facebook page and one on the LFF Facebook page.  The LFF one actually included a free Energy Leadership Index!!!!  Someone signed up for the free coaching session but the Energy Leadership Index is still hanging out there….(hint hint….it’s still available for the claiming (LFF Facebook 8/22 Post).

On knowing what you want…

Yeah….guess what, everyone  thinks they know what they want, but I have to share that in my coaching and even in my own self-reflection, there are more of us who believe that we know what we want because it’s aligned with what we think we’re supposed to want!  Yuuuup, let that sink in for a minute….

We’ve come to be blinded by circumstances, situations, standards etc. And yes, I’m preaching to myself too!

I challenge you (well, us with myself included) to get into a mental space….clear your head….pretend this world actually doesn’t even exits as it is but you’re in your own perfect environment where you’re totally starting with a blank slate of what to create for yourself.  Without any hesitation, just spit it out:

  • What do you see?
  • What do you hear?
  • What are you doing?
  • Who are you with?
  • How do you feel?
  • What makes you love all of this?

Heart pumping yet?  Smiling a little bit?  Know why, you just created what you want!!!!  Now let’s show some courage….don’t look back….start making it all a reality!

Soundtrack of the week: American Authors’ Best Day of My Life

Living Fabulously Fierce SPOTLIGHT:The Fabulously ‘On Purpose’…

KAREN HINDS

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 Leadership Mentor for Milennials

So we’re still preparing for our March Spotlight Campaign, accepting submissions and nominations but we just couldn’t wait to start sharing some of the wisdom and insight already coming in to Living Fabulously Fierce from you incredible women-10 women already confirmed for next month!  So we’re giving you just a bit of what all of March will have in store.  Enjoy our Spotlight on Karen Hinds this week!!!!!

What does Living Fabulously Fierce Mean to You? Living fabulously fierce means living with purpose…with purpose and having fun.

If you had to describe your brand in three words, what would those three words be? Why?   

  1. Risk taker-If I have an idea, I just go after it!
  2. Excellence-I make sure to do everything with excellence for myself, for my clients and family.
  3. Fun-well, you have to enjoy life!!!

How are you intentional about your personal brand? I set regular dates with “thinking time”.  This is time during which I simply sit down on a regular basis and evaluate myself on how I’m doing, what I’m doing, and being accountable to myself around asking  “am I living according to my personal and professional goals . Honestly, I am constantly evaluating  myself overall, and  specifically, my brand.

How do you live it?  I’ve started my business, started conferences internationally, written a book all in the face of inexperience.  In terms of fun, I am veeeeery fun.  At home, we’re constantly laughing and pranking each other.  In terms of excellence, I take my work very seriously.  I truly believe, how you do anything is how you do everything. This doesn’t mean I get it right all the time, but believe me, I try.

If there is anything you could do to either reinforce or enhance your brand, what would that be?   Focus on visibility.  I think everyone who experiences my brand really enjoys it, but I’ve got to extend the exposure of it.

What would you say has been your greatest accomplishment?  I can only pick one?  Ok…I would absolutely say my family.  See, once you have that, you can duplicate the beauty and benefit of it into anything else.  I’ve been married 20 years and my son is 16.  I am really proud of all of that.

Biggest Challenge that you’ve overcome?  So, I’m a risk taker and I’ll do whatever I believe needs to be done. That being said, the truth of the matter is there is always this little nagging voice that gets me, just like everyone else, that tries to get me to second guess myself and all that I’m doing.  So, this actually isn’t the biggest challenge that I’ve overcome but it is the biggest challenge that I’m constantly overcoming.  I intentionally try to limit the power of that voice and make sure I don’t set limitations for myself.  It’s an ‘in progress’ overcoming.

Interesting Fact/Interests/Hobby/Something you think the LFF World to Know.  I love food, so the most interesting food I’ve eaten were grasshoppers….It was a crunchy dish.

Tell me about Brand Karen Hinds as Living Fabulously ‘On Purpose’.  When you hit 44 you realize you just move and live for you and what you want.  I just live on purpose and don’t waste any time.

How do you recommend other women stay true to themselves and live their authentic personal brand?   Women first have to get to know themselves because we throw around the word brand and people really don’t know who they are.  It’s like setting someone in the kitchen, telling them to make something, and they don’t even know what ingredients they have in the kitchen to use.  So know yourself, define you, and then live authentically because you already know who and what you are.  Then you’re no longer trying to be something or someone that you think someone else wants you to be, but instead you’re choosing to live on purpose.

What advice do you have for young girls, our up and coming fabulously fierce, around being their best selves or anything you’d like to share with them in particular?  Open your mind, guard yourselves, your emotional selves, ask questions and always ask for help… always.

Living Fabulously Fierce Factor #19-Keeping Your Faith without Fear

CAUTION: Spiritual content ahead.  Brace for blessing and impact!

Happy Easter!!!  I hope your Resurrection Sunday has gotten off to fabulous start!  Easter happens to be my favorite holiday for many reasons but the most important being it is a reminder, for me, of the importance of faith.

I identify faith as it is defined in Hebrews 11:1

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”

Someone recently asked me how do I stay so hopeful and happy about everything when I don’t have everything I would like in my life.  I quickly added, “yet…..I don’t have it all, yet,” and explained that I really do believe that what I am seeking and aspire for is in line with what God has for me and as a result, it’s just a matter of time before it comes to pass.  That being said, I do have a confidence in what I hope for, an assurance in what I do not see.  This is what it means to have faith without fear.  Essentially, I have a vision, am definitely a praying woman who seeks wisdom in everything, and I don’t let circumstances or changing life seasons determine my level of faith in the vision that I have.  Simply put, there is so much good that I what to do in this world- sooooooooooooooooo much-and my vision incorporates so much that in order for me not to focus on current limitations, I have to pray and seek the wisdom needed to take the right steps toward this vision.  Most importantly though, I’ve got to maintain a confidence in the things that I hope for that is not stirred by wind (challenges), rain (moments of frustration), or any distracting “noise” (those to my left and my right who may not be able to see what I see and therefore not be able to support, and actually detract, unintentionally or otherwise).

That being said, my hope for you today is that you will

1-Take the time to consider your vision.

If you’ve been with me since the vision board exercise early on, (LFF#2) go back to that.  Remember how I stressed just laying things out not worrying about what might not “make sense”?

  • What were you able to depict for yourself as a result of taking the limits off of your own thinking?
  • Have things changed?
  • If you’ve minimized your vision, why?

If you haven’t laid out your vision, ok I’m going to be a little tough here…chop chop! If you’ve expanded your vision, fabulous!

2-Seek the wisdom to determine what next steps are needed to get closer to realizing your vision.

Be open to the fact that wisdom may actually require that you sit still for a bit.  This is the place in which I currently am, and am actually baffled.  See, we live in a society in which we’re taught that to “get, get, get we’ve got to do, do, do” and often times this only results in a whirlwind/hamster wheel effect.  You know, going around in circles and not making any progress whatsoever.  Sometimes, to make progress, we really may need to just sit still or keep moving, but just a bit slower than we’d like, all for the purpose of making sure any moves are actually in the right direction.

3-Maintain your faith without fear.

I’m a big believer that life is all about seasons.  There’s an old adage that if you’re going through something right now, know that you’re just a breath away from coming out of it…and if you haven’t gone through something, brace yourself because you’re going to need your strength as you’ll more than likely be going through something of your own very shortly.  C’est la vie.  That being said, maintaining your faith without fear and with strength requires that you maintain a “seasons perspective” while also maintaining a level of faith that is not shifted by the ups and downs of the life.

Happy Easter folks!  Get your vision on! Maintain your faith!  Let go of fear!

Sound track of the week: Mary Mary’s I Just Can’t Give Up Now

Living Fabulously Fierce Factor #18-Surrounding Yourself with Good Company

Of all the things that may change in life, a few key things remain the same, including the fact that some days are easy and some are hard, but with good company, it can all be pretty fabulous!

When it comes to good company, I am truly blessed beyond measure!  I’ve got some pretty remarkable people in my life that I truly count as blessings, gifts really, because I never once asked for them and here they all are, playing a role in Farah Inc.  That being said, there are a few key things that are common of those I keep company with that I think are pretty important for all of us.  These include,

1-We’re friends, not because we’re perfect, but indeed in spite of our imperfections.

Not a single one of us is perfect in any way, shape or form.  We’re just right, the way that we are, in whatever season that we’re in, always growing and developing.  But perfect, nope, not one of us.  True friends are those who can look at you and appreciate all that you are and all that you’re becoming with a love for you despite the fact that they know you’ll never be perfect, whatever that may mean anyway.

2-We have real expectations of each other. 

My friend Ivy and I were chatting once about some of the “interesting” people that we come across in this life.

Ivy and I with Zo! from Foreign Exchange

Ivy and I with Zo! from Foreign Exchange

And when I say interesting, I mean….you know…hmmm, how do I say this…well, the folks who if someone gave you the option of either hanging out with for five minutes or running a marathon on a blistering hot day, well you’d go and get your sneakers and start running.  And know that all of us are that “interesting” person for at least one person in this world at one point or another.  It’s all good.  Anyway, I digress…Ivy and I were chatting about one of her “interestings” and she said, “I knew we really couldn’t be friends because she just had absolutely no expectations of me.”  What this was really all about was the fact that this individual did not hold Ivy accountable to be the best Ivy she could be.  She and I on the other hand, however, we have “best-self” expectations of each other and really won’t let the other slip too far from meeting that expectation.

3-We know when to heavy-handed and when to be heavy-hearted, maintaining a balance of both.  

Sometimes, I really have a hard time with this one because don’t we all just want a hug or someone to tell us, “everything’s going to be ok” or “oh, you’ll be alright, you’ll be fine”?  As much of a tough cookie as I can be, sometimes, I really want 90% heavy-hearted and 10% heavy-handed and all I get is the exact opposite…because that’s actually just what I need and fortunately my friends often know better than me.  I will definitely say no one in the Farah Bernier Circle will ever baby her.  What I am grateful for though is that I am never at a loss of the needed “I need you to get your act together” or the needed “I’m so sorry, I’ll bring over some dessert and we’ll cry this one out or just watch a good movie.”

4-Through it all is love

Speaking of good movies, I recently saw Tyler Perry’s I Can Do Bad All By Myself again

and at one point Mary J. Blige’s character sings

“I don’t need no one to put me down, I’m on the ground can’t get no lower. And I don’t need no one to hang around an make me frown…”

I think this points to the fact that the best thing for all of us from the company we keep is love. This makes me think of Job, let me tell you, if I’m ever where he was, I’m pretty certain I don’t need anyone in my crew like the friends he had.  They didn’t show him love.  It was really all about pity and the perspective that he must’ve done something wrong to warrant him going through what he was experiencing.  Job needed love and he didn’t get as much as he needed.  Again, grateful that even if they needed to give me a swift kick in the pants, no matter what, it would be in love.

This week, I’m actually going to write, yes actually write a few cards to those in my company just to let them know they’re appreciated and that when it comes right down to it, although I am soooo not a mushy person, yup, I love them.

So, as for you, are you keeping good company? Do the folks in your circle add,
encourage, enlarge your territory, love and have expectations of you? Do they have the same expectation of you and how are you measuring up to that expectation?  Are you sowing into their lives as they are yours?  Answer these questions, just for you.  Finally, this week, in whatever way you choose, reach out to at least three people in your circle with a simple “Hey, you’re pretty fabulous and I’m grateful for you.”

Soundtrack of the week: Mary J. Blige’s I Can Do Bad All By Myself

Living Fabulously Fierce Factor #17-Never Wilting Under Mischaracterization

“If you know who you are, then what somebody calls you is just so irrelevant…  If I wilted every time somebody in my life mischaracterized me or called me a bad name, I never would have accomplished all that I have to date.  You know who you are, so whatever anybody else says is just interesting fodder.” ~Michelle Obama, 2008 Essence Interview

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I could just stop right there, huh?  How fabulous is she?!?!

Jumping right in, I’m pretty sure all of us have heard some things about ourselves from others that took us by surprise.  I know I definitely have.  Fortunately, 99% of the folks in my life are those who I can truly have a heart to heart with when things like this come up and what it usually boils down to is almost always misunderstanding.  This really takes a good level of self-assuredness and confidence.  It’s often so much easier to just sit in hurt over what others say about us, especially when it comes to the situations in which it’s the 1% who are actually just talking to talk….it happens.  It takes strength not to wilt and stay focused on what you know about who you are.

So, by now you’ve probably guessed it.  The most critical aspect to not wilting under mischaracterization knowing thyself.  This week we’re going to focus on a few self-reflective questions around this.  Get the journals out folks.

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1-What two most valuable truths do you truly know about you, that no one can every persuade you otherwise on?

2-What about yourself are you most sensitive about?

3-How do you usually most productively get over hurt?

4-Who is your ace-someone (s) you can go to and totally pour out without any fear of judgment or any other potential consequence.

Because I’m all about modeling the behavior I expect of others…here goes…

1-First, every day I am focused on being the very best me that I can be and living a life that is honorable based on my Christian values.  Second, I have a heart that extends to others in their pain and genuinely celebrate with them in their joy! (Ummmm, did I mention Dre got an Emmy!!!!! That Dionna is on a cruise with her mom this week!!!! And I’m not ashamed to say that there have been moments that I’ve actually clapped for the Jeopardy winner!!!)

2-Ugh so let me explain this one (already sounds like defense doesn’t it) so, I am totally ok with being single…for now as I do look forward to being in a relationship but trust, I am thoroughly enjoying this season.  HOWEVER, over the past few weeks, too many people have been asking me the question “so why are you single.”  The woman who threads my eyebrows even asked me, “Why you don’t have husband….you don’t like men?”  Really? And….oh if you knew the stories that are getting back to me about why I’m single…from folks who don’t even know me…it’s nuts!!! Kinda funny at times. So yes, as that itty bitty rant shows, today, in this season, that’s what I’m most sensitive about, not because it is my season, but because of others’ assessment of it.

3-The way I most productively get over hurt is to have a conversation with the source of the hurt to make sure that I’m actually seeing whatever the situation is through the same lens as them and understand their intention.  When that doesn’t or can’t happen for whatever reason, my other option…real simple….pray, and move on.

4-No naming names here but I actually have two usual suspects that I go to when I really just need to let it all out.

Whew!  Breathe!

Why is it important to answer these questions, well, when I identify and spell out my most valuable self-truths, starting with just two to get the ball rolling, well, then nothing that comes my way to contradict those truths will get me to move away from these because I know that I know that I know these truths about myself.  The are part of who I am.  If I know my own sensitivities and can get to the root of them to understand what’s behind them, no one can use them against me.  It’s like one of our Partners recently shared, “I know I’m fat, you know I’m fat, can we just move on or do you need to put in another joke to make you feel just as good about you as I do about me regardless of how I look?”  That’s an “in your face” statement if I ever heard one.

For as long as we’re living, we’re going to experience pain and hurt from others.  It’s just reality, but as Rick Warren says, “God never wastes a hurt, but uses it for a purpose in your life and the lives of others.”  That being said, as long as you know how you get through hurt, you’re better prepared to employ that strategy once things come up.  Finally, we all need someone with whom we can be totally transparent, who will know when to hold our hand and cry with us or tell us to get over ourselves, stand up straight, get in line, and keep moving.  To my aces, you know who you are, Thanks!!!  Love ya!!!

Since all of this requires the fighter in all of us to come out, the soundtracks of the week are

“Fighter” by Christina Aguilera and Gym Class Heroes

 

Living Fabulously Fierce Factor #3-Maintaining Your Ability to Accessorize with Your Smile

The past two weeks have definitely pushed me to learn more about how much I can handle.  There’s just been a lot of work with work, a lot going on with friends, and some of my own personal challenges.  I really can’t say that anything is bad, but it’s a lot of good things, great things, and things that aren’t necessarily bad….just unexpected if you will.  That being said, I’ve definitely been stretched, stressed and had to address some fear and anxiety (yes the fabulously fierce are human and experience these feelings too). Truly though, what doesn’t kill you ABSOLUTELY makes you stronger.

Throughout any challenges though, I really do always try to maintain my composure and focus on being positive…for myself and in managing my personal brand.  It’s just so important to always keep in mind that no matter what you’re going through, you’re always offering up an experience of your brand with others.  Whether you’re having a great day or not, all people remember is how they have experienced you, based on how you show up.  Now some of us wear our emotions on our sleeves and have to do a little more work to show up positively when interacting with others.  For me, and I would submit this is the case with most of us, it all really depends on the day.  Some days, I’m better at not letting things get to me so much that everyone can see I’m just not myself.  On other days (though rare) I don’t really leave much to the imagination in terms of what I’m feeling.

One thing that I think I have working in my favor though is that I am really able to be in the moment, no matter what I’m going through or facing.  If I’m on the train for my morning commute into the office and trying to mentally prepare for the day but the person next to me starts up an interesting conversation….I’m totally there!  If I’ve got a million things to get done with a task list already set up with check boxes for me to build that sense of accomplishment as I work through (if you couldn’t “see” my Type A personality coming through before, well, here you go) but there’s an impromptu get together or “Committee Meeting” called to order (Consuela, Faith, and Veronica know the deal), I’m totally there!  If I’ve just gotten some not so great news but a fabulous song comes on….I’m there, especially if it’s an old jam like MJ’s Smooth Criminal.  Basically, what I’m saying is that, no matter what’s going on, I try to be present in all situations, appreciating whomever I’m with and whatever we’re doing, what is actually happening…not what I “should” be doing, or what’s “supposed” to be happening.  This really helps me appreciate everything so much more, and smile a whole lot more in this world in the face of everything that can go a little crazy around us in this world, or have us feeling like we’re in a constant whirlwind.

So, today, I’m suggesting we all just make an intentional commitment of embracing everything we face….the good and the unexpected with the same accessory…a smile.  Super cheesy, I know, especially as, believe it or not, I’m sooooooooo NOT the mushy mushy type.  The reality, though, is that this really allows us to be present, in the moment, and soak up the best of everything and everyone around us.  So, go ahead….I dare you, just smile.  You just look so much better when you do!  And….against the feedback of my friend, Melissa, I’m inserting one here via an emoticon, just for you 🙂 !

Soundtrack of the day: Kirk Franklin’s I Smile

Living Fabulously Fierce Factor #2a: Creating the Vision…Continued

After my last update, a number of you sent thank you emails, sharing how motivated you were to actually put your vision board together.  So, naturally of course, I had to take it to the next level….I actually hosted the very first Living Fabulously Fierce Meet-Up!

A few of us got together and really honed in on our vision with no limitations!  “DJ Lynette” provided the musical inspiration and we let our minds run wild with purpose! Check out a couple of the resulting boards:

As for me and my vision (board)….
Well, I definitely took the limits off.  This exercise absolutely let me run wild with my goals and aspirations and forced me to take up my own ask of you in being true to myself and daring to dream grand. In terms of being true to myself, I have always known that you can never please everyone all the time and if that’s all you’re seeking, it is impossible to be true to you.  Knowing this is one thing, but actually being committed to this frame of mind, living it, is another thing.

What’s really helped me wrap my mind around being true to self is the following quote by Deng Ming-Dao:

“The moon does not fight. It attacks no one. It does not worry. It does not try to crush others. It keeps to its course, but by its very nature, it gently influences. What other body could pull an entire ocean from shore to shore? The moon is faithful to its nature and its power is never diminished.”

If that doesn’t get one to be committed to one’s nature, I honestly don’t know what would?  That being said, some of you have asked to learn more about me.  So here are a few truths about Farah Bernier:
•       African-American Female of Haitian descent
•       Christian
•       Oldest of three
•       Addicted to travel
•       Passion: Supporting the development of young girls, building their self-esteem and confidence                       through coaching and collaboration with fabulously fierce women who’ve influenced my life….

I think that’s enough for now, but feel free to send me a note with any questions you have about me and I’ll post answers as your inquiries come in.  All in all, these are the basic truths about myself that I am committed to staying true to no matter what that entails.  Each of these characteristics about me, and many, many, many others help define me and contribute to who I am no matter what I experience or am involved in.  That being said, I guess my truth statement would be that as an African-American female of Haitian
descent, I am the descendant of those before me who have had various struggles tied to their own identity, yet made significant strides so that I can be where I am today, proud of who I am, motivated by my Christian values, naturally forthright (though some may call it stubborn..and of course they’re wrong 🙂 tendencies as an “oldest” child, with a love of experiencing new cultures and different parts of the world through travel while inspiring others, young girls and women in particular, to be the best they can be in all that they do, through their own self-confidence and positive self-esteem.

Definitely a mouthful but I’ll trust you get my point.  All in all, I’m staying true to me, owning all of it…all of me!

Dreaming Grand!

In terms of taking the scales off the eyes of my imagination and building grand…well, I definitely did!  So, remember how my board began with two vision “paths” that I shared?  As a reminder, here are the two:

1-Farah=Joy==> Good-Looking==>Strong Brand==>Fabulously Fierce==>Admirable Presence==>Public Speaker

2-Farah=Joy==>Light for others==>Christian==>Example of Christ==>Missionary

Well, I took another look and focused on being grand!  So using the first path just as an example, check it out:

Farah=Joy==> Good-Looking==>Strong Brand==>Fabulously Fierce==>Admirable Presence==>Public Speaker==>Speaker at the 2020 Essence Women’s Conference==>Living Fabulously Fierce Talk Show Host!!! (Why not?)

Time to Work:
This exercise actually helped me identify additional interests that I didn’t even realize I had.  I love what I’m doing for work and all the ‘extrawork’ activities that I engage in, but I never really thought about taking what I love to do in my job-speaking, coaching, advising, consulting, developing and facilitating-and focusing in on how to take it to the next level.  Now that I have a defined, tangible end-goal, it’s time to start putting my vision into action.

So I’ve already taken the first step, thanks to the fabulous connection my fierce friend Veronica Chapman, a true jewel, shared with me, and called an agency that sets thought leaders up with speaking engagements.  I’ll focus on local opportunities for the time being, build up to larger audiences, then get to the Essence Women’s Conference, and then, host of the Living Fabulously Fierce Talk Show….and many of you will be guests. Taking the scales of my vision indeed!

Side note: Sooooooo, if you’re looking for a speaker on confidence, self-esteem, personal brand building, diversity and inclusion……well, you know who to call!

So how about you, what did you end up with and what actions are you planning to take?  Feel free to share.

One last thing…
One thing that helped me dream grand was really focusing on leaving a legacy.  Simply, put, I want to make sure to leave a mark on this world that makes a significant enough difference to positively impact others,
however that may be.  I dread the thought of one day leaving this earth and not leaving some sort of a mark that shows that I lived, I added value, I dared to dream and live my dreams, and in some identifiable way, left a legacy that encourages others to do the same.  What’s the legacy you want to leave behind?

Soundtrack of the week: Beyonce’s, I Was Here Continue reading