Of all the things that may change in life, a few key things remain the same, including the fact that some days are easy and some are hard, but with good company, it can all be pretty fabulous!
When it comes to good company, I am truly blessed beyond measure! I’ve got some pretty remarkable people in my life that I truly count as blessings, gifts really, because I never once asked for them and here they all are, playing a role in Farah Inc. That being said, there are a few key things that are common of those I keep company with that I think are pretty important for all of us. These include,
1-We’re friends, not because we’re perfect, but indeed in spite of our imperfections.
Not a single one of us is perfect in any way, shape or form. We’re just right, the way that we are, in whatever season that we’re in, always growing and developing. But perfect, nope, not one of us. True friends are those who can look at you and appreciate all that you are and all that you’re becoming with a love for you despite the fact that they know you’ll never be perfect, whatever that may mean anyway.
2-We have real expectations of each other.
My friend Ivy and I were chatting once about some of the “interesting” people that we come across in this life.
And when I say interesting, I mean….you know…hmmm, how do I say this…well, the folks who if someone gave you the option of either hanging out with for five minutes or running a marathon on a blistering hot day, well you’d go and get your sneakers and start running. And know that all of us are that “interesting” person for at least one person in this world at one point or another. It’s all good. Anyway, I digress…Ivy and I were chatting about one of her “interestings” and she said, “I knew we really couldn’t be friends because she just had absolutely no expectations of me.” What this was really all about was the fact that this individual did not hold Ivy accountable to be the best Ivy she could be. She and I on the other hand, however, we have “best-self” expectations of each other and really won’t let the other slip too far from meeting that expectation.
3-We know when to heavy-handed and when to be heavy-hearted, maintaining a balance of both.
Sometimes, I really have a hard time with this one because don’t we all just want a hug or someone to tell us, “everything’s going to be ok” or “oh, you’ll be alright, you’ll be fine”? As much of a tough cookie as I can be, sometimes, I really want 90% heavy-hearted and 10% heavy-handed and all I get is the exact opposite…because that’s actually just what I need and fortunately my friends often know better than me. I will definitely say no one in the Farah Bernier Circle will ever baby her. What I am grateful for though is that I am never at a loss of the needed “I need you to get your act together” or the needed “I’m so sorry, I’ll bring over some dessert and we’ll cry this one out or just watch a good movie.”
4-Through it all is love
Speaking of good movies, I recently saw Tyler Perry’s I Can Do Bad All By Myself again
and at one point Mary J. Blige’s character sings
“I don’t need no one to put me down, I’m on the ground can’t get no lower. And I don’t need no one to hang around an make me frown…”
I think this points to the fact that the best thing for all of us from the company we keep is love. This makes me think of Job, let me tell you, if I’m ever where he was, I’m pretty certain I don’t need anyone in my crew like the friends he had. They didn’t show him love. It was really all about pity and the perspective that he must’ve done something wrong to warrant him going through what he was experiencing. Job needed love and he didn’t get as much as he needed. Again, grateful that even if they needed to give me a swift kick in the pants, no matter what, it would be in love.
This week, I’m actually going to write, yes actually write a few cards to those in my company just to let them know they’re appreciated and that when it comes right down to it, although I am soooo not a mushy person, yup, I love them.
So, as for you, are you keeping good company? Do the folks in your circle add,
encourage, enlarge your territory, love and have expectations of you? Do they have the same expectation of you and how are you measuring up to that expectation? Are you sowing into their lives as they are yours? Answer these questions, just for you. Finally, this week, in whatever way you choose, reach out to at least three people in your circle with a simple “Hey, you’re pretty fabulous and I’m grateful for you.”
Soundtrack of the week: Mary J. Blige’s I Can Do Bad All By Myself