Living Fabulously Fierce Factor #40-Living Life to the Fullest II

There has been so much going on for me as of late, more than I’ve ever imagined, and I am totally overwhelmed with it all, in the most positive way possible! I have wanted to share so much and actually have too many drafts of LFF Factor #40 to count and it’s all because I’ve tried to capture my next “soundbite” as perfectly as possible. What I’ve learned in the drafting process is that sometimes, it just takes a bit of rambling to get out the message we intend, and it usually results in an even greater impact than we could have hoped. So, let’s just dive into living life to the fullest.

I think the first time I was cognizant of this message that we are all familiar with was in high school. For whatever reason, I just remember so many of the adults in my life at the time stressing the importance of seizing opportunities, living in each moment, appreciating the season…living life to the fullest. I can’t honestly say that I did anything different than what I would do, but I do remember being on highs all the time. The highs of

  • connecting with people
  • experiencing new things
  • always feeling out of my comfort zone but being motivated by that, and
  • daydreaming like mad about what was next!

So as I reflect back and simultaneously look at all that is in the here in now, many years after being that high school kid, I realize that that is really what living life to the fullest is all about…..

  1. Connecting with people: Anyone who knows me knows that I would literally talk to the wall if the wall would talk back. I’m a story seeker. I love learning about others’ experiences and hearing what their interests are. I often picture our lives as movie scenes interwoven through unexpected connections. I love it! It adds a lot of flavor to life and I wouldn’t change it for the world! So, consider how you connect with folks. No, I’m not saying you need to make friends with everyone who crosses your path, but I have found that just listening to any piece of someone else’s story that they’re willing to share and sharing what I’m comfortable sharing has always improved a moment, a day, a week….life.
  2. Experiencing new things: Man oh man has 2014 already shown me the benefit of this point. So far, I’ve spoken to three new audiences that I would never have imagined being able to, set the goal of just auditioning for a fabulous play and then actually got the role that I auditioned for, and then was in the play (still baffled and truly grateful), and just this past Friday, I did a 5k with my friend Alesha. Sometimes, I seriously sit back and think “Farah, seriously, you’re doing this?” And then, I’m totally stunned by what I’ve done that I never even thought of doing. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “everything that is now possible was once thought impossible.” This has been enough motivation for me since my AP History Class with Mrs. Joseph junior year at Fontbonne Academy when I first came across this quote to be open to experiencing new things. This year has just been a more continuous revelation of that. So, what new things are you going to let yourself at least consider today?
  3. Stepping out of your comfort zone and being motivated by this: On some level this is a bit sick. I was just recounting to one of my peers at work that the reason that I took the job that I’m in now was because it actually scared the mess out of me. I’ve never operated in the space in which I’m in now and never had as high a level of accountability in such a senior role both locally and nationally. I “knew” that I didn’t have expertise to bring to the role but I also knew that that would be enough for me to be as driven and motivated to excel in it. The yielded results are beyond what I could have ever imagined. As I’m now getting comfortable, I know it’s time to start finding ways to get uncomfortable to maintain that drive. What’s your comfort zone? How are you going to get out of it and be motivated in the process.
  4. Daydreaming like mad: I have learned and experienced the power of visioning. Last year I was really diligent about taking golf lessons and one of the things I remember the most was how the coach would tell me to “take a practice swing every time, not just to practice but to picture the ball going exactly where you want it to go.” Every time I did that, the ball always went exactly where I wanted it to go….exactly!!! At the same time, I’m also seeing being in the role I’m in now as the result of daydreaming about being as successful as Claire Huxtable when I was eight years old…..about being on a stage when I was ten years old, even though I had to quit dancing because we just didn’t have the money to continue lessons, I just kept daydreaming about the stage, envisioning myself on it again…..about getting fit and focusing on being healthy and starting to get involved in more fitness-related activities even when I was the most out of shape in high school and not as involved in sports as I had been previously. And lo and behold 2014. Just yesterday I was coaching a client, “Rachel”, and she has had a goal of getting back into shape and being healthy. We didn’t start with what she would do today to start to get back on track. We started with “imagine what “Rachel” May 2015 looks like. Tell me about it.” As she started to daydream out loud, we acknowledged how much she liked that picture and she committed to that. Then we stepped back to determine today’s next step toward that. She’s taking her practice swings and I have no doubt her “ball” is going to land exactly where it needs to and I’m so excited about it. I belabor this particular point because I have experienced the power of it. So, what are you giving yourself the opportunity to daydream about?

I’d love to hear what you’ve got to share so much so that I’m still on a high from all the complimentary sessions I did last week that I’m offering one 30-minute complimentary session to the first person*to comment on any one of the four points that they’re going to commit to. Let me hear you!

Soundtrack of the Week: This was such a popular song during my high school years that it seems most appropriate here. Enjoy Green Day’s Time of Your Life

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Living Fabulously Fierce Factor #25-Facing Fear And Rising

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So funny, I didn’t even realize it until I got the message in my inbox.

Totally feeling like I’m in like with my purpose, and meeting the goal of earning the feedback I want at the end of my days…..”well done my good and faithful servant.”    And that the seeds that I’m sowing now are going to yield things and experiences beyond my wildest dreams and imaginings.  I’m actually setting into the promise I received as a senior at BC as I was stressing about my next steps…which were at the time, unknown to me.  Yet, I laid back in that bed in Voute Hall and actually heard the voice of God for the first time and then captured what I heard….

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…and  it’s happening!!!

Ok, now before I totally get myself off track.  Let me get us to this week’s factor to focus on: Facing Fear.  Now we’ve talked about fear one way or another here in the past and we’ve had some action plans from our focus on it, but what I want us to focus on here is shifting our perspective on fear.  I actually want us to F.E. A. R….Face Everything And Rise.

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See, as this picture depicts, when things are tough and present challenges to us, we usually face whatever it is and tend to run.  Running can look as subtle as asking the question “Why me?” or literally running from whatever the cause of your fear is…becoming a transplant, ending a relationship, cutting people out of your life, not letting anyone in, not taking on anything that presents a challenge…the list could go on and on and on (side note-man, how easily a song pop’s into my head).  What we have to do is shift our mindset about the things that cause us to get nervous, anxious, fearful.  We have to embrace those things, people, situations, as positive challenges. Here’s an example.

Believe it or not, there as a time that I was deathly, deathly afraid of public speaking.  I’m talking even afraid to raise my hand in class.  My FBA friends who “knew me when…” could give you some really good examples.  Then, my sophomore, I wanted to run for Student Council.  Well, that required delivering a speech to my peers and Mrs. Cerasuolo, our school Vice President (miss her).  Freaked out! BUT, while freaking out, I took on a volunteer role for the summer at the State House giving tours because I knew I’d have no choice but to speak to small and large groups.  I was sick to my stomach every morning.  It got to the point where my mother, who never lets you not finish anything you’ve started, actually told me “if you don’t want to do this, you really don’t have to.”  It was horrible.  But after facing that fear, by the end of the summer I had given over 100 tours and got better at speaking to large groups!!! 

Notice, I didn’t say the fear went away.  Even this week, I had to speak to 172 new hires at my firm and while I wasn’t afraid, I still got a few jitters…but I did it anyway.  What we have to do is commit to the facing of our fears.  Just face them and over time, they are no longer insurmountable.  Let’s be clear, it takes time for things that make us fearful to stop making us fearful….while I’m young, high school was a long time ago and I’m really just now, comfortable speaking while also getting just a bit nervous every time.  But it’s all good because at the end, I rise and that, that right there….that’s the goal.  That’s what conquering fear is.  It isn’t actually the immediate tearing down of fear.  It’s the process of rising above it, even though it’s presence slowly diminished. 

So, this week, I’m challenging you to live fabulously fierce by honoring the LFF anniversary and face everything with the confidence, the assuredness, the faith that it is inevitable that you will rise an there’s no stopping you then! For some of us, it’s been a long time coming!

By the way, it’s my birthday week (woot woot) and I never ask for much, but I would love to hear about what you’re planning to face and what you envision rising looking like for you!  Let me know!

Soundtrack of the week: Some inspiration for the phenomenal Maya Angelou and Leela James’ Long Time Coming